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Is it wrong?

AM2020's picture

SD brought her report card home with an F in science. Of course this should be an automatic grounding right? Well she is. I reward her younger sister who got good grades. Younger brother would've got rewarded for good grades also but he got in trouble everyday in school. I took middle sis to play arcade games at the local bowling alley. Also we went to the movies with her cousins. There's a birthday event today should the oldest be allowed to go? She doesn't help around the house, talks back, really disrespectful, and remember got an F in class. What do you guys think?

Bex_S's picture

You shouldn't punish a child for bad grades if they have truly tried their best. But if they didn't, then of course, punish. As for the other behaviour, I'd say that's punishable, but it depends how recent/close to the birthday event the behaviour happened.

AM2020's picture

I agree. She was warned on her previous report card to bring her grade up while it was a low C. Her bad behavior is at least once a day. And continues. 

Rags's picture

If she is not performing to capability then by all means punish for poor grades.  The other stuff needs to be confronted in real time as well as with durable escalating discipline.

The challenge is balancing the discipline in a way that it does not impact the rest of the family.

What we landed on with my SS was based on the premise that if he was screwing around when he was supposed to be working he could work when he was supposed to be screwing around.    What we did not want to do was limit our enjoyment of life to punish him. So, he went where we went but as soon as we arrived home he started writing sentences.  Tens of thousands of them over the years.  That kid has great handwriting.

Gotta love it when an unintended benefit works out.

AM2020's picture

Thank you that gave me comfort sounds like a good balance. I believe that is what me and my partner had a hard time with. Sometimes me and my partner can't communicate because it is her daughter and we clash and it's hard she feels like she has to take sides. 

Rags's picture

It isn't taking sides. It is called parenting.  Your partner needs this lesson in Spades.

Good luck.