is it only good cause we havnt seen SD in 3 weeks?
Yes I knew he had a life before me. Yes I knew he created life (twice) before me but I still fell for him. You can't choose who you love. But sometimes I ask myself is it all worth it? Is it worth the fights about homework, about possibly not having a child together because he already has 2? I want to live my life. Drama free. When you are a little girl dreaming of your future you never think man with kids that arnt yours. So what do you do? Do you keep searching til you find a man without 'baggage' or do you adapt? For the last 4 months I've chosen the adapt route. In my head I thought I love these kids, even if i dont care for their mothers. Yes plural, I'm lucky enough to have have found a man with 2 BM. It was only a month into the relationship that the kids started to be a part of 'our' life. I greeted it with open arms. Homework time, snacks, dinner, weekend day trips. Worked well for the first week or so. Then boom the "I dont have homework today" started. I can't control if they go to school or not I"m just the gf but yet I refuse to be lied to. My problem is I care too much. So I stopped engaging and low and behold it worked. I was no longer fighting with my bf. I go about my day and dont worry about being home after school to be home. I go to the gym, I do my errands.
We are starting to connect as a couple also because oldest child decided they missed their BM so they stayed there on his weekend. Then the flu hit the house. So we havnt seen his children for 3 weeks now. Sometimes i'm looking forward to the kids coming back but on the other side i'm happy just to live my life. There has to be a balance but with 2 BM its never easy. But I knew all this going in.
After almost 9 years, I do
After almost 9 years, I do happy dances when I don't have to with my SS.
I run my life around my SS's out of boundary school. Everything I do during the day has to be between the hours of 8 and 2. I don't even work because its not worth it for us tax-wise for me to work part-time. Everything I do revolve's around the prince's hours....trust me it gets old and the lies never end.....especially about school.
I don't envy you dealing with 2 BM's. I deal with one...she is Bipolar and has been in the nuthouse.
I'm having a lot off issues dealing with my SS right now, looking back I wish I didn't get involved with caring about the school and allowing my life to be controlled by this child (I should have said, NO I will NOT quit my job, there are taxi's. The stress from this kid is now having a negative impact on my health.
We know this going in and I am sure you are going to hear that from a few people in here. I thought, well the kid is 8....in ten years he'll be 18....no big deal. I didn't think it was going to be that bad.....I was wrong. I never had kids, never wanted too, I had a career, a life, at one time I was a really busy person. Now, ugh....this kid!!!!
Sorry, but I am not having a good day.
Timetogiveup, Sorry to hear
Timetogiveup,
Sorry to hear you are having a bad day. Yes one child is 12 and the other is 1. It doesnt stop at 18. Yea you can kick them out the house legally at that age. But if you care about kids and are involved in their everyday life its easier said then done. Most likely they will go to college and then marry themselves with kids so you'll be in their life FOREVER. just one day at a time i say
I know it doesn't stop...my
I know it doesn't stop...my parents were in my life every day until they passed. I was in my parents life forever. I don't expect this kid to fall off the face of the earth when he is 18 what I do expect that IF he is able to go to college (that is a BIG IF right now)afterwards he will be out on his own and DH and I will have the same realtionship with SS as we have/had with our parents. What I don't want is this kid living with us FOREVER.
agree; you know it going in;
agree; you know it going in; but I don't think it hits you for awhile......I live for times SD13 isn't her; which is never since we have had her FT for almost 7 months now; her BM sees her maybe once a week for dinner!! She walks around with a pissed of look (I know she is 13) but her whole attitude is pure b* it is so depressing; even my bk ask why she is like this; answer (in my head of course) because daddy lets it go......ENJOY YOUR TIME
The 12 year old is fine when
The 12 year old is fine when she is here. Its the coming home to saying "where is she?" and his reply is "she chose to stay with her mother" That piss me off. I went out of my way to make it feel like her home too. Make sure she has breakfast and dinner and things she needs for school just for her to say i'm satying with mom cause so and so is sleeping over there. I refuse to get used as a door mat. Now i know why her dad just gave up.