I'm only angry when my step-kids come around
Forums:
My step-kids are the ages of 3, 7, and 8. I have 3 of my own that around the same age. Well, my FIANCÉ and I have been together for almost 3 years and I love him with everything. I notice though that I find myself severely depressed and angry when his kids come over and I don't know why. I can't love them or show feelings for them like I do my own. Do I need a shrink? With my crazy work hours and other stress on top of that, the last thing I want is his kids around me. Another thing that angers me is he has his 3 year old call me "mama", ever since she was a baby. I don't like it!!! She has her own mother and I don't want to confuse her in any way.
I hear ya. Even though I've
I hear ya. Even though I've been around for a couple years I still find myself resenting them a little when they come home from the their BM's. I like my alone time. I get a couple of days of peace and quiet and hate it when it's all over.
I say you need to talk to
I say you need to talk to someone; having all that anger and resentment inside isn't going to help you one bit, not as a parent, not as a spouse, and not as a human being.
Almost always, when I read about stepmoms who are feeling this level of anger and resentment towards the children, it isn't about the children. Usually there's an underlying sense of lack of support, lack of validation, or even just the loss of the life you thought you would have. Talking to a professional who can give you some objective advice, can't hurt at all. Obviously you don't want to feel like this, so doing what you can to work your way through it is only going to make your life better.
Best of luck!
yup. that's how i feel. not
yup. that's how i feel. not as much on the support piece as my fiance is really trying on that. but lack of validation? Absolutely. Loss of my former life? Very much so (i have no kids of my own, so now having a kid around is a HUGE adjustment!).
i find myself longing for the days we were dating prior to SD being told about me. sure, we had a lot of time apart when he had to do his visitation, but we felt so free.