how much is to much gift giving
So I have 3 skids which I have actually adopted and bio twins on the way.dealing with the kids grandparents ( my in laws) is like dealing with a bio parent from a messy divorce. They are still mad that my wife and I got married and moved out of their home. So here is the issue... My wife cut communication with them for about a month because of stuff they were telling the kids and because mil can't not interfere with wife's parenting. Since then they have been almost competing with us...we take the kids somewhere...they have to do the same and shower them with gifts( that they can't afford so at the end of the month they are asking us for food and gas money). We baught them backpacks...they naught the. Backpacks 2 days later. We got them jerseys for Xmas...they went and got them jerseys I k ow grandparents are supposed to spoil their grandkids but 3 gifts a week plus pizza plus McDonalds plus ice cream and chuck e cheese? Mil also hoards their clothes and toys at her house. My concern is am I over reacting? I won't want my bios and to have poor values and I don't want the adopted ones to either.spoiling has gone too far
You brought the grandparent
You brought the grandparent thing all on yourselves (you and wife). First you state you both lived with DW's parents and continue to go on about how much time the kids are spending over with the grandparents.
SO in reality you use the in-laws when if and whatever for you two please, then you turn around and whine the grandparents are too involved with the kids. You can't use people that way and then expect them to not feel too involved and/or that perhaps they are inserting themselves where they shouldn't be allowed.
Wife and you want the in-laws out of your business and to stop filling the skids up with junk and overindulging them with presents? Stop dumping your kids on them.
If it had been up to me the
If it had been up to me the kids and wife would have never lived with them.I was in the military before we got married, I lived with them less then a month ( I moved out of state when I got married) they have watched the kids while we were working because of financial reasons....that was stopped as soon as possible.wife has caved in about that and it has been a hot topic with us.I have always told my wife to stop depending on her parents or using them as a fall back cuz this is the shit that happens.
"they have to do the same and
"they have to do the same and shower them with gifts( that they can't afford so at the end of the month they are asking us for food and gas money)."
This is where you can stop the cycle....stop giving the grandparents money so they are forced to have to budget for their own bills.
Anyone would assume they are the spoilt kids here spending all their money on crap and expecting handouts at the end for essentials.
Stop enabling them and start getting control back in your family.
Be very careful and very
Be very careful and very clear about boundaries: set your own and set them in stone. The g/parents need to step back. The sooner the better.
A very good friend of mine pretty much lost her 15yo daughter to her grand-daughter-obsessed personality- disordered mother.. an unusual case of PAS spanning generations. As one point in time she had also PAS'd my GF against her dad. Now the GD pretty much cries when told she needs to go spend time with her mother, preferring GM's house which is decorated with GD's portraits on every wall of every room of every floor. It is freaky... the kicker? the GM is a retired child psychiatrist.
The kids are no longer skids
The kids are no longer skids - you adopted them, They are yours in every way.
The grandparents dont seem to
The grandparents dont seem to get that. They always love to remind the kids that I'm not " their real dad".