How have you managed to turn things around?
This is a question for those who have managed to make things come good or liveable/OK? How did you do this? I mean generally, but I'd also really appreciate to hear specifics.
When there is clearly never going to be a loving relationship between you and the SKs, what "equilibrium" did you find? How did you manage your partner's disappointment/blame about this? Did you disengage? How do you handle your own inner frustrations and disappointment?
When the SKs shown you non-stop contempt, what do you do? From ignoring you, speaking over you etc to leaving their crap everywhere for you to clear up? How did you reach a way with your partner where he stopped believing you both should clean up after them "to avoid conflict"?
How did you cope with feeling like the Outsider? In decision making, in knowing what plans everyone has, in knowing who will come back when, in knowing who isn't going to be around tonight to eat the meal you've spent hours preparing?
How do you cope with visiting OH's family, when the children treat you like you don't exist and ignore you, and all the family sees is a SM who is obviously "cold" to her darling SKs. How do you let the wider family know what you've been having to deal with whilst OH keeps it from them because he never wants his children criticised by anyone?
How did you find a way through never being able to raise any issues with your partner without him going off in a rage?
How did you find a way through your OH refusing to ever discipline his SKs, refusing to ever call them out on their behaviour, refusing to ever have a bad word said against them?
Overall, what sort of plateau or arrangement did you manage to reach to remain sane, keep your self respect, repair a damaged relationship with your OH (from so many arguments about things like the above), protect yourself from toxic and bullying SKs, and basically get through this nightmare and manage to come out the other side still together, and keeping the love?