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HOW do you deal with feeling like an insignificant nothing due to BM/skids being the only thing that matters as per the law

liks's picture

Im sick of being cast as the second hand rose in this marriage...

First wife got the bit wedding, honeymoon, etc etc....I get nothing, cos we have to pay all this money for the horrible skids to the BM and she is always wanting more...

She takes us to court,...sorry...takes the DH to court to get more money....his new wife (me) and his new kids (my Bio kids) are insignificnt as far as the court is concerned...

THIS IS WRONG AND I HATE FEELING LIKE IM AN INTRUDER INTO A DIVORCED MANS LIFE...

Its like as if the law doesnt want divorced persons to go on and have a new spouse and life....

Does anyone else feel like this....and if you do....got any ideas how to deal with it?

Im So pissed off today....

Auteur's picture

"Its like as if the law doesnt want divorced persons to go on and have a new spouse and life...."

EXACTLY! The laws are extremely archaic and built around the 1890's when women were chattle, ill educated and couldn't support themselves materially. By contrast, in the 1890s, women didn't have any say either and were often deprived of rights thus the current laws now.

Problem is, the BM now has the upper hand in most everything and ditching biodad is looked on as an unending golden goose; especially if stepmom is there to support biodad while he supports HER!

Welcome to StepHELL! We all feel your pain!!!

liks's picture

You know what I yelled at my DH whilst arguing over money he has to give to BM...

'stop it DH, stop feeling guilty and bending ova for them.....they only reason you need to feel guilty is for not wearing a condom when you banged the bitch during your train wreck marriage....or better still...you should have only banged her up the arse...cos thats all the bitch deserves...but you didint and now we are all fn miserable'

(I was thinking of you wen I said it.....you should have seen the look on his face) priceless...

stuff em...

BLUEEYES's picture

God i know what you are feeling like- I feel the same way.our bm has been dragging us through court for 3 years now going on 4 years, she didnt want me near her kids talking ot them seeing them that didnt work out for her too well... he courts told her that i am married to the father and nothing can chgne it or take it away... but as far as working your butts off and giving her all the time $$ and things -I know it is hard i can relate to you and your feelings .. i am sorry you have to go through this too--think of it as when they are 18 you can be doine with her and you and your husband can take a honeymoon to celebrate your love being free of her horrible bitterness---that day will come for you and when it does that bm will be the only one alone!!!