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Hubby just told me a sis in law and exwife are in communication hoping our marriage fails

shamds's picture

And this sis in law hubby doesn’t like, regularly updates the exwife and hubby knows this as stupid sis in law brags to hubbys sis that lives nextdoor about what she does. Funny though, this elder sister is close with me and hubby lol.

so we have a spy in the family (which we avoid anyways), she came to our wedding ceremony then bitched right after to exwife about how my husband hasn’t opened his eyes and needs a reality check because he married a much younger they both laughed because they’re old lonely unappreciated women that they hope and will see how long our marriage lasts. Same sis in law has encouraged her adult daughter to verbally attack me and insult me in front of the family, apparently i don’t wear bras at family events?? I should respect them more... hmmm very hard when i know some are spying on me and talking to the ex

So thats why we often go to family events to show we’re a solid unit even with all the ss issues. Now that the stepdaughters have learnt about the crap mum spun them when she kidnapped them from dad 6 yrs ago, she is out of the loop so this epiphany of her moving on for the sake of the kids is absolute crap.

hey if she were a great wife and mum, hubby wouldn’t have divorced her. She was a stay at home mum who didn’t do anything and neglected the kids but the daughters actually see me as nurturing and friendly and really enjoy that and our 2 kids.

seriously are people so unhappy with life they wish an unsuccessful marriage on others? So I guess their marriages aren’t all great if they’re this way... always got this vibe of jealousy from this sis in law. Its not my fault hubby traded up from his prior marriage...

Rags's picture

Living well and being happy is the best revenge.  So, rub their bitter hag noses in your happiness and have fun doing it.

Keep the happy SIL happy so that you can keep a finger on the pulse of the toxic dried up old duo.

As you have learned, keeping the kids abreast of the facts and complete information in an age appropriate manner is a key part of protecting them from the shallow and polluted end of their gene pool as they grow up and is critical to giving them the ability to protect themselves as adults.

Good luck to you and your family.


shamds's picture

the girls actually found out on their own via cousins pics on fb which questioned all the crap their mum spun. She even called hubbys elder sis ranting on hysterically that she had to check my husband that he’d converted out of his religion and marry a half naked prostitute and how can she allow her girls maintain contact with their dad, its her duty to protect them. 

She kidnapped them a year before hubby met me, she just saw an angle to spin things to her defense. That sis in law flew overseas for our intimate engagement so we’re very close and she does respect me because she’s seen a big difference in hubby since marrying me and she knows it must have been very difficult.

so yesh revenge is great rubbing it in their faces.., nobody likes hubbys sis in law anyways because her husband (hubbys brother) was already engaged and planning wedding when this woman came after him breaking up his engagement to get him, family lost respect for these 2 because of it. 

So she hates that me... a younger, foreign woman enters the family very easygoing and friendly and it pisses her off

tog redux's picture

I'm thoroughly confused by all of these sisters and sisters-in-law, but I agree with Rags. Living well is the best defense. Ignore what they say.

Yes, some people spend their time wishing others will be miserable.  I'd laugh about the fact that BM is still so focused on you and jealous.

somethingwicked's picture

to spread such vicious ,hateful lies about you.

Steer clear of her.  Enjoy the life that you have created with your DH.  Make sure he knows you do not want toxic types in your space.If DH argues he can't honor your request  because she is "family " (even tho she does not act like it) then he can go visit her on his own time ,dime and  keep  her far away from you.

AND if that 20 year old lazy disrespectful  man baby skid  is still jamming you up SEND him off to SIL and the Ex ,BM BioHobag.

Let them deal with him .


still learning's picture

Your DH should steer clear of the women drama in the family. There's no need to spread viscious scathing comments around.  So she wants your marrage to fail, most ex wives do secretly hope their exH's marriage fails so they can say, "See, it wasn't me!"  I was an awful exW, I even placed bets on how long his 2nd marriage would last and I was right. My only regret is that I didn't bet actual money. 

SIL sounds like a pot stirrer, you know this so act accordingly.  Next time it's pointed out that you're younger say, "Yes, I'm the upgrade."  

SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

I wouldn’t have a clue if my ex husband remarried. I’m no contact with him and his family forever. I don’t stalk him on social media, either. I don’t have the same phone number, address. Email etc and my social media accounts either have pseudonyms or on extreme lockdown.

It wasn’t just me that contributed to that catastrophic failure of a marriage. He is abusive and lazy. Any woman getting with him is going to have a bad time, unfortunately.

shamds's picture

Especially at family weddings etc. 

So anytime said sil makes condescendig comments like “everyone is asking if you’re the grandfather of your daughter because you’re so much older”, hubby tells her politely to shut it and mind her own business

Exwife bragged how she’d moved on after the divorce and was so in demand that plenty of men wanted her after the divorce, if she has moved on, why keep tabs on us and find angles to get more info on us?

ESMOD's picture

I honestly couldn't follow what you wrote aside from the title.. your husband told you that your sister in law and his EX are hoping that your marriage fails.

Why TF does he feel the need to tell you things like that?  Does he enjoy being the center of attention as women fight over him?  Does he get joy from watching you be hurt?  If you already knew they didn't like you.. what is the point of telling you this.. not new news.. if you DIDN"T know.. what purpose was going to be served by telling you.

Give your husband a big wooden spoon for Christmas.. so he can stir the pot further.

still learning's picture

"Does he enjoy being the center of attention as women fight over him? "

Sadly most men do. DH used to do the same thing and tell me all the nasty complaints ss34 had about me. I finally told him that I don't need to know and don't care about ss's opinion of me and to please keep it to himself.  

shamds's picture

We were arguing about ss behaviour and i’d told hubby i’d had enough of his intentional emotional abuse directed at us purely because he can and told hubby to go to his family day holiday in a few weeks time alone and talk to his siblings about ss issues and see if they can give him some perspective on the situation because he always butts heads with me like i’m the enemy when i’m trying to help him address the issues. 

He said he didn’t want to go, that i was a priority and any family marriage issues he keeps to himself because that sil of his keeps in contact with the exwife bitching about us etc so she can keep tabs. It wasn’t to guilt me

Rags's picture

You  can have so much fun with this situation. Start feeding the toxic SIL a bunch of stuff to ramp up BM.

Start talking about expensive vacations, expensive cars, jewelry, cosmetic surgery, etc, etc, etc....  Let ToxSIL take all of that to BM and get them both spun up.   When they start bitching and gossiping you and DH can honestly say "Umm, no.  I have no idea what you are talking about.  We are not considering any of that."

Rub their noses in the stnky spots on their behavioral carpets and keep feeding them rope to hang themsevles with.  They will lose all credibility eventually and when that happens.... you can give them a snide wink.

Have fun!!!


shamds's picture

We do every year fly back to my country which is about $4000 our currency (not cheap), then fly my dad over 1-2 times a year for new yrs and also if i give birth. Then we usually have overseas holiday too so she obviously knows when i’m travelling but recently hubby asked i not post pics to facebook because he doesn’t like his family knowing what we do with our private time and i’m like this is purely for my family and ex work friends and his family non stop brag about holidays a few hours drive away like its this major destination holiday... now i know why... i did get a beautiful gold necklace as a wedding gift from hubby which he put on me when we got married. But often with shopping and the toys our kids have (they aren’t spoilt  mad) but every now and then we get things that will help them be independent and at least allow me time to get housework done etc so recently hubby bought a  kids 4 wheel drive jeep style electronic car that the kids can sit in.... obviously if we did another family gathering, they’d see it

ever since bio mum came back to “cause trouble”, we’ve just not trusted anything she says. Time will tell and show her angle and objective. We just go about our lives as usual with not a care for her.

glitzgirl1988's picture

Agreed, with living well is the best revenge.   I have the same situation with my gossipy old-hag of a sister-in-law co-miserating with my hubby's ex and my step daughter, whatever.  Could care less, the whole town know my sis-in-law is a bitter horrbile person, so I lose no sleep over it.   I DO make it a point to outshine her desserts, gifts, etc. each year at Christmas though, lol....just the inner competitor in me....LOL


Live well and carry-on...We bought a new inground pool the last time I decided I needed a   Spending SD inheritance always helps too Wink