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Haircut !!!

ciavelillse's picture

Ok so mostly a rant but advice always appreciated.

So general background, my DH has full legal (medical, educational and geographic) custody, shares 50/50 eow visitation of SD7.
SD7 has come the last three of our weeks with lice, her mom claims she is getting it from our house, we have a BS4, he has not gotten it and neither have I (DH is bald), while we disagree, we treat her, the house, the cars, the toys, lines, towels, clothes, my son, myself each time, we do preventative shampoo, the kids don't share hair brushes, etc etc

She went back and came back again with lice from her Mom's house. So we asked her what she wanted to do, she asked to have her long hair cut off. She said the treatments hurt her head and she really wanted to do something "cool" with her hair. So we treat her again (the second she gets to the house, straight to bathroom), then when she is bug and egg free we take her to get her hair cut, DH lets her pick the haircut. Her hair goes from below her shoulders to a pixie cut.

5 days later, no signs of lice at all on her. DH drops her off at BM's house. They talk and BM flips out. Now the background to her, is while they where going through the custody fight, BM only cared about child support (which she lost) and SD7 hair, which the judge says isn't a legal issue and refused to even listen to.

SD7 looks adorable and we live in the South so short hair is great in the summer, it bums me out that BM only cares about her hair cut and not the hygiene part.

I have been a step mom for 5 years, I try to stay out of the parenting decisions that don't concern me or my house (her behavior and routine in our house, I of course have a say) but this pisses me off, BM did zero to fix the issue and I of course am the one picking through the kids hair for eggs and bugs, we are spending money on the shampoo etc. I never communicate with her, but man oh man do I want to tell her off this time. I wont but the text has been written (and deleted)

Ok rant over, if anyone has dealt with a situation like this advice, words of wisdom would be helpful.

fairyo's picture

Well done for deleting the text- I would have sent it lol! No, I haven't been in this situation but you seem to be handling things pretty well!

justkeepstepping's picture

We did the same thing with SD right after DH full custody. She had long hair down to her butt and always had lice. She was only 5. Her hair was always a mess. I swear BM never brushed it, but always wanted to keep it long. She picked a pixie cut too. Long in the front and shorter in the back. BM and GBM flipped. SD loved it. She kept that hair cut for 2 years before she started growing it out.

P.S. It's a b*tch to grow out. She's been growing it out since May and it's not even to her shoulders yet. You have to keep cutting the bottom off of it so the top can catch up and grow out.

Thumper's picture

What state gives FULL LEGAL whereby HE makes all educational, all medical and all geographically decisions but 50 50? :O Maybe you mean standard non custodial visitation?

You may want to really look at that court order.

Haircuts. VERY Touchy. Oftentimes a huge bone of contention.

Mom should be consulted. JMO AND all possible course of action by doctors (better have documentation) and over the counter products first before hair wacked off.

But then again you could do what a lot of Custodians do, ACT first, say oppsey later. For the record I do not operate like that, but I know many who do.

lieutenant_dad's picture

Consulted? It's not Mom's hair. Dad felt the kid was old enough to make the decision to pick a reasonable haircut. The kid picked it out. The kid likes it. This is just a power play by Mom.

notsobad's picture

If you put a few drops of tea tree oil into baby shampoo it will help keep lice away.
You would still have to do treatments if they get full blown but for some reason the tea tree oil helps stop reoccurrences.