Wow this sounds unique to me and unbearable. I couldn't take that either.

All I can say is time to get her out of the picture. Talk to hubby and SS and involve him in activities around you house that his mom isn't aware of. That way it could be just you without his creepy mom. You hubby needs to talk to his family also in cutting her off, and keeping her out of your lives. This is above and beyond, but sounds like its a lot about your husband not taking control.

When you see ss, you need to just do things seperate. Maybe after this hockey have a long talk and tell him that some school functions you can't attend but you guys will have your own seperate things. We did that, we couldn't go to any school stuff because of the ex and her family. Long story. Even when he graduated we had our own celebration, in other words its just time to seperate from her and you have to make sure you husband understands this and cooperates. It won't change until you take control, imo

I agree with Terri. Some major lines need to be drawn by your husband and his family. Otherwise, she is going to keep pushing!

It does start to feel like a competition, doesn't it? I have the same feeling sometimes. Biomom has also tried to copy me in a lot of ways and it is kind of creepy!!

It will be hard for your husband because he will feel like he can't keep her from doing the things she is doing. So, pick the things that are WAY over the top for him to talk to her about.

Don't let it get you down. Just keep doing the best you can!

Dawn

Hi momof5,

I would be worried about this if I were you. I had this happen to me and it was a nightmare. My husbands ex wife is bipolar. First she started to dress like me, and then she bleached her hair blond, I am fair skinned and blond, she is Hispanic if you can imagine that. Then she tried to buy the house next door to us, going as far as showing up their every morning to remove all of their for sale fliers to prevent anyone else from purchasing it. My SD was into soccer and I made every practice and game for 2 years and she was never to be found, thin when all this happened she started coming to every game. Soon after all of this she started calling and leaving death threats on my phone. I could go on and on about the crazy sh*** this ex did. It resulted in a restraining order and my SD being talked out of going to her soccer games by the BM. Very sad for the kids.

Be wise and record any strange things that are going on, keep a note book and don’t loose your cool, she will try to provoke you, stand up for yourself, but don’t be goated into something that you can’t take to court. It’s likely she is having a mental problem.

My heart goes out to you; I know the hurt that goes with this and the problems it causes the whole family.

I'm in the same boat in many many ways.

The best thing I can give for advice is that she's obvious insecure about herself and has way too much time on her hands. What I like to do is ignore my ss's Biomom when she starts to get crazy and be a 'copy-cat'. (Besides, mine isn't any good at it anyway.) She IS doing it to get a rise out of you, push you're buttons, they all do it soly for selfish reasons. It's all about them, not the kids. It's an attempt to get their own child's attention when they know they have faulted and they feel insecure. So, in some ways, you could literally take it as a compliment. (Weird, I know.)

What I would like to suggest is that you should try to offer your ss something that only you can teach him or provide to him. Can you play an instrument, arts and crafts, books, movies, play games with him, do homework with him, etc something to share together? Find a common ground with your ss, and build a relationship only between you and your ss. In the process, don't worry about Biomom... literally. Let her do her thing, literally. The kids really do see the bigger picture, and when they notice that you are focused on them, not money, or buying them, etc, but their true interests, and feelings, they will be more secure- rather then having them follow behind biomom's insecurity.

Second, by her mere actions and behavior, especially around the kids, she herself is pushing her own child away from her... not you. She's the only one that is looking like a fool, and the kids will pick up on that. But, yes, keep note of the things, but don't dweal on it for long, and just laugh it off...be extra extra nice., comment... "Oh don't you look great!" "Oh I love that!" Wink at her, and smile alot. But don't make it so obvious to the kids that you're messing with her too... be natural about it, or just ignore it. You know, the motto, "keep your friends close, but your enemies closer." The more you seem uninterested, or nice about it, the more it will ultimately get under her skin anyway, and if you don't show a rise out of it, she'll eventually stop doing it. Sometimes it's even fun to play around with it.

Hang in there.

I am so there with you my DH EX- dresses and does her hair just like mine so I always keep one step ahead change is so great and just continue to play her game she will tire in time always be a step ahead and never ever let her see you frown or look frustrated they hate this the most. Smile and and focus on the kids you know more about hokey so shove that in her fake face. good luck stepinin

with my husband's ex, but I have had some competitive-type problems with my SD. The list is long, and that's not what your post is about. However, the one common ground is your husband must address these issues with his ex. I think that any time there are issues such as this he needs to speak up and talk to her. You are his wife. It sounds to me like the ex is jealous and insecure to the extent that she can't even be herself. As I generally say to most anything, smile and be polite and take the high road. If things get too wierd, talk to your husband and see if he can't address this in some manner. Good Luck!

I love how you refer to your SS as your "bonus" Thats nice to hear instead of just referring to him as the skid or whatnot.

That Ex sounds crazy as hell though, maybe start dressing like a slob and see if she copies that too, or just get in her face and tell her "I know you want to be just like me because you're so insanely jealous but it doesnt matter how many of my outfits you steal, you can't fix ugly :)" good luck with that!

^^^ I also agree with OldTImers advice, sometime being super nice (sarcastically lol) works too

I only wish that these stories were available for me to read years ago!

Here I am almost 15 years later and this copying crap is still bothering me! And, I documented EVERYTHING at that time! She said that I made that up! My husband didn't believe me at first because his ex-wife is a SOCIAL WORKER!

I tried in so many ways to make my children and his children's experiences unique. We went special places, did stuff like have "theme" dinners, etc. We went to the beach & to plays, only to have the same EXACT things repeated by her weeks later. Even the same beach...that they never went to before! They never went to a play. They copied my daughter's Halloween party down to the exact GAMES. EX wore the same costume as me!

I wish I could sue her for driving me insane! I tried so hard and was struck down every time!!!!

How demeaning is it to have your life, your whole originality stolen from you! The ex's need to control was absolute. She was quick to copy me, and quick to point out when I brought this up...that it was all me! That I made this up!

My husband, was still trying to deal with her over his shoulder constantly.

She even had the nerve to tell him, that '...she doesn't know if she can trust him anymore, because she feels that whenever she wants something that it has to go through me first." !!! Thankfully, he did reply and copied his lawyer "...yes, don't you realize that I am married, and that is what a marriage is supposed to be about!"

This is just an example of her distorted thinking.

The attacks by her were relentless. I was the sick one.

And, because my husband was so slow in backing me, I started taking antidepressants to deal with this. I started questioning MY sanity! Even after 15 years of therapy and hospitalizations, this woman still does her little things to get at me. Her daughter is her mirror image. She can look you in the eye and lie right to your face. I know it's a lie, my husband know's it's a lie, but she has the power like her mother to blame me, and to convince everyone else that it's me that picks on her, and I can't fight it.

The ex once told my husband that I threatened to kill her. No! But, in hindsight, I wish he told her that she should kill herself and make the world a better place !!!

Yes, I do hate her, and what she took from my life. And, I find myself hating my step-daughter because she is like her!

Any comments are appreciated.

Same shit happened to me too. I was nice to his x at first for his daughters sake but it all exploded in my face. She completely made a clone of herself into me. She got same hair style, color, walked same place i walked everyday, exact same color, exact same car and color, started doing same hobby, started selling Marykay make up after she said she didn't wear it, everything we done with stkid.. She would do exact same thing , same glasses. The list goes on. At first I thought it may have been all in my head until I would text friends and show them my photo with date then copy and paste her photo from step daughters Facebook into text.. To get their input to see if I was going crazy. I promise I wasn't going crazy because they all said same thing, even my son. The Christmas gifts she went to far on. I told h to stop having her come here and meet her up the road. That helped! Her not seeing me or being in any of my space gave me back my identity. She even went as far as to getting her daughter to record or snap chap.. I noticed step kid recording me. I had h put a stop to that! It will consume you if you let it. I kept things off Facebook and stayed to myself. It's been 2 years and I haven't seen his ex nor her me. She found her someone and got married and now demanding if she can drop step kid in the yard. She feeds off me not letting her come over , her ego as if I jealous of her not coming over here and tells him she doesn't want him back. I'm not worried about her trying to get him back. I just don't like someone mimicking and stealing my light. I know she will go back to the same thing if I open that door.

Also, you can stop her from being in your space. You can not stop her from calling his family. If his family constantly brings her up you can also do something about that in a different manner. You can throw hints when they say her name you can stop them in mid sentence and say that's nice and change subject but get your h on same boat. He drinks your kool aid, not theirs..lol

Wow what an amazing group of talented and diverse women! I can see why an insecure and damaged person would try to mold themselves to be more like you all, but I can also understand how this would drive someone absolutely crazy.