Do your sk's seek your attention out?
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It seems that my sd would rather spend her time with me than her dad during her visits. She hangs on my heels no matter what I'm doing or where I'm going. If I'm going one place and her dad is going another, she'll choose to go with me 99% of the time. I would think that she would prefer to be around her dad since he is the bio parent. It might have something to do with the fact that I've been around since before she can remember, but I still think its weird. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining at all. I'd much rather have it like this than us not have a good relationship. I think it bugs my dh sometimes but he is also glad that she likes me so much. Is this the case for anyone else? If so, what do you attribute it to?
Here, too.
At first I think it was just because I was a novelty and so very different from their mom. I don't think they put any thought into it. Maybe kids just instinctively gravitate toward the most mom-like person in their environment.
♥ Georgia ♥
"Good men don't just happen. They have to be created by us women." (from ROSEANNE)
Me too
That's why I love her so much - I never had any little girls before! she is a big girl now though.
Now I do encourage DH to spend all the time available with her, because we don't get to see her much . . she is here to visit him really, he was only too glad to have me with her all the time
I think my SD even prefers my family which I am very grateful for too, that she likes them I mean, and has them as another example for good and bad
"Fortune favors the brave" - Virgil
My SS took to me really
My SS took to me really quickly. The first time I came over he wanted my attention. And I thought it was because I was new at first. But still now living with me for over 8 months, he is still just as smitten. He lives with us though. At first it was he wanted me until he got hurt or something big, he wanted his dad, but now it's always me. He even cries at night if I don't put him to bed. I think it's that children want that mom, and we know that his BM isn't very affectionate with him. She sometimes acts like he's more of a burden than anything. She sometimes doesn't even show up for visitations. I just provide that motherly comfort and affection. And he loves it. He even calls me mom. We told him he should call me Kristina, but he says, "No, you're my mom and I'm gonna call you mom." And I never argued about it again. I do all the mom duties so that's what he wants to call me, I let him. You should never force what isn't natural or comfortable to them
me three
My FSD will hang around me when we go shopping or sit next to me when we go out to eat. She likes to talk to me about stuff she does not feel comfortable talking to her dad or her mom.
she is a good kid- so I am ok with it. I think her dad my FH was hurt at first but now I think he understands..
“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”
I just can't relate to this topic !!
I have always been then wicked step mother, again thank you disney & BM!
Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!
Ditto!
I am evil and getting more evil as time goes on, it seems.
that is a shame
those kids are losing by not having you be a part of their lives.
“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”
Right now the swins avoid
Right now the swins avoid me. Sneak by me... Used to do things with them year ago it was me & swins w/o DH) but they got older, more & more wild, many times I came back wounded & penniless, plus DH wasn't interested in doing anything w/us so I got discouraged. I was tons of fun w/BD -- she's got Peter Pan sydrome to prove it!! Typical for me to say, "she's my clone" . Again, never be that way w/swins. Convenient for me to say its because they are boys & should be w/DH --their BD.
ALWAYS it's me over DH
I posted on this about a week ago on another blog. My SD always looks to me for attention. It's not that she has a bad relationship with DH, I think it has to do with the fact that she does not have a "parent" relationship with BM. The BM tries to be her friend rather than her parent and I think SD craves that "mom" relationship. Whenever she wants to do something or ask permission for something she always asks me, not DH. I have even laughingly threatened to change my name, because she's always saying "Dee, can I ...". Luckily DH does not feel threatened by this at all, but is grateful that she feels such a bond with me. Shame on the BM is what I say. This is the kind of relationship SD should have with HER!!
OMG I wish I had this
OMG I wish I had this problem for one day. I dont exist. The skids will bring up things they know to get their BD's attention away from me "Do you have a pen?" etc. when they KNOW where the pens are.
I totally agree with the Disney comment! The youngest SD points out to me often what REAL families should be, Disney movies are great examples of this. A small part of me wants to tell her that I did nothing wrong. I have no children, no prior marriages, I just happened to fall in love with a wonderful man who has two children and it could totally happen to her one day. But I dont blame her, its not her fault. Just sucks being the outsider.