It looks like DH has made the step towards disengagement, where his sister is concerned

The first thing was at the birth of SGD last week. DH made a point of finding out from SSIL exactly when SIL would be there, and made arrangements to go during the next visiting hours, so he wouldn't have to see his sister at all

And then this morning, DH made the traditional New Year's day phone calls to his family, but not his sister (which is a first)

In the past, DH always phones his father, then sister, then daughters. This year, he phoned FIL, then OSD, then YSD. Nothing where his sister is concerned.

Regardless of whether DH's sister notices DH is making no effort at all where she is concerned any longer or not, for DH's own peace of mind right now, I hope this is the right step!

I think DH's sister was feeling all smug that she has slowly but surely been excluding us from the family events/dinner's with DH's family in recent years, Christmas dinner this year being the most recent. Walking about at the Christmas brunch without so much as saying hello to us, let alone so much as a Christmas card. Rudely and openly putting us down. Just being a complete ass to us.

Now the tables are turned. DH has decided he simply doesn't need her drama in his life any longer. She doesn't want us around - she's got it.

Problem solved!