A COUPLE OF QUESTIONS
DH carries the insurance on SS 14. He also has to pay 1/2 of all uncovered medical and dental. His insurance pays up to $1200 on braces. SS got braces which cost $4000. Each parent had to pay $600 up front and payments are $96.00 per month for BM and $96 for DH. Orthodontist bills insurance every 4 months and just received their first check for $394. Since parents pay everything up front and wait for the reimbursement who does the $394.00 go to? Since it is our insurance wouldn't that be our reimbursement? DH thinks maybe half should go to BM but she isn't the one who carries insurance we do. I guess I would feel better about giving her half if we had a good relationship but it is not. Everytime we turn around she has him back in court for more child support etc. She saves up all the medical bills and presents them to us the week before Christmas. We could use the money to pay on the lawyer bill from the last time she took us to court.
Second question.....DH's other EX has us in court now also over SS-7. She wants more money, sole custody, etc. She is an even bigger nightmare then Ex-1. DH and I have been together three years in February and there have been very few months that there hasn't been some kind of problem with one of his Ex's. O am just starting to feel so bitter about it. I know that it isn't his fault but I am just getting so burnt out. If we take a vacation we have to be careful not to mention it in front of the kids. There mother's would have us back in court. I work hard 40 or more hours a week and I pay to have a housekeeper come in every two weeks and clean. Nothing major and it is only $120 per month but of course nothing can be said in front of the kids and if she is scheduled to come and one of them is here I have to reschedule with her to a time when she is not here. I just feel like his Ex's have so much control over our lives. It is starting to cause a real disconnect with my DH. I just get tired of dealing with it. How do you keep this from effecting your marriage? Yes, I knew he had Ex's and kids when I married him and I don't have a problem with the kids at all. It's just the effect these BM's have on our lives that is the problem.
I'm not sure how the
I'm not sure how the insurance stuff would work. I would just give her half and be over it.
I too deal with 2 exes. My DH's 1st isn't nearly as bad as the 2nd. I know how you feel with the exes controlling everything. I no longer have to deal with the 1st ex, my SD is 23 and has a child. SD has basically cut her father and I out of her and her child's life because of the lies her mother told her and not accepting the answers to her questions about her parents failed marriage. Her mother kind of just let it all fall down around DH over the past 10 years.
Now the 2nd ex is so horrible I can't even bring myself to say her real name, not even to DH. She keeps the skids away from DH. We've sent money for plane tickets for them to visit and it goes all to hell. Summer of '08 we did this and then BM decided she was coming too. She sent us an e-mail just stating "the children and I will be staying with you and your family for 2 weeks. I hope your wife is ok with that." When she asked us to let her know if there would be a problem with that and DH did she flipped out, kept the money and took the kids on a fun vacation. That put a dent in my marriage. We managed to barely get thru that crap. Of course, here we are a year later and similar stuff is happening again, only worse. She wants me gone for their visit. It has put a wedge the size of Texas between DH and I. He says if this was the only way he'll do what she says......I don't think our DH's understand exactly what the BM's are doing. They're wanting our marriages to fail. I keep telling myself that if I leave, that's letting ex#2 win. It gives me some courage to keep going and work on my marriage. Altho, at this point I'm not so sure how much more I can take. I've put up with this controlling b****h for 10 years. I've tried serious talks with DH. Sometimes it does help just to let him know how you really feel. If it's all out in the open he may start to understand. I hope you have better luck than I have and Sorry I couldn't help more. Just wanted you to know you're definitely not alone.
Ok so right now it sounds
Ok so right now it sounds like you guys and BM are both paying equal amounts, and for the 1st $1200 the insurance is going to be reimbursing you, right? So the full $4000 is paid by both parties and $1200 of it comes back? I would go to the divorce decree. If it says UNPAID medical expenses must be split 50/50 then the unpaid portion is $2800 and BM only owes $1400...so $600 of that $1200 would have to come back to her if she is going to pay $2000 upfront. Bottom line, you should each be paying $1400. Now I assume you are looking at it like you guys each pay $2000 and since the insurance you guys pay for covers $1200, that should come out of your portion, only leaving you $800 to pay, right? If there is nothing in the divorce decree about medical expenses, that might work. Also, were the braces required or just suggested? Was it a joint decision between them to put the kid in braces? Or does BM have legal custody making the decision all hers and DH just has to suck it up? There's a lot of factors to consider what would be fair, but the biggest one is: WHO has the crooked teeth that made the skid need the braces in the first place?! Thats who should pay the TOTAL! LOL just kidding
P.S. I can't believe you put up with TWO BMs! I couldn't do it!
"I child proofed my whole house, but they STILL get in!"
She has physical custody and
She has physical custody and actually knew for months that SS was getting braces but didn't tell us until a few weeks before the upfront money was due. Not uncommon behavior for her. Like I said she would save up all medical and dnetal bills for the year and present them to us the week before Christmas leaving us scrambling to pay them within the 14 day time period we have to meet. We are the ones who pay for the insurance every month. My husband is on disability for a muscular disease and can no longer work. 2nd BM has us in court (Nov. 2nd) and we have lawyer bills out the wazoo because of the both of them. We do not mind paying for the braces since SS needs them. It's just I feel the insurance reimbursement should be ours. If she wanted help with her half she should have taken out insurance herself...it is available through her work.