Cordial, but distant
This past weekend I visited with my in laws. I had not seen them since Thanksgiving. Cordial but distant. Not a word was mentioned about his ex or daughters. If you recall, dh's adult daughters were given roughly 30 k that the grandparents had set up in a custodial acct for them at their infancy. It was unknown to them until this year. I understand that the grandparents could not keep the money, but they did not need to take the girls out to dinner, etc etc, ESP in light of the terrible behaviors they unleashed at my husband, their own son. So......I felt like an outsider. The family has tons of pictures.........not one of me, even though I have been married to their son for several years. Hell......they even have lots of dh's ex in the photo albums that are out in the den. I do find it interesting to look at the old albums. Like seeing my dh at younger ages. Makes me sad that we missed so many years together. But I do not need to be a part of dh's family.
I should add that I even have
I should add that I even have looked at videos of dh's children at birthday parties, and was amazed to see then when the girls were very young that conflict over discipline was caught on tape! Dh even made a comment on video about how he felt that oldest daughter was spoiled then, and he was not kidding in his comments. I watched the tapes in secret, seriously was tempted to throw them out, dh would never have missed them, but I could never do such a mean thing, even to his awful daughters.
I know what you mean about
I know what you mean about missing so many years together. DH and I did not meet until late in life.
But I do have more positive experiences with his family. They just had a 2 day reunion. People just went on and on about how glad they were that he'd found me. Have sent emails and FB messages afterwards saying the same thing. The sort of "unspoken" message is "my how you've upgraded from that last bitch wife".