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Contempt, does it actually happen?

juststressedbeyondbelief's picture

I heard through the grape vine today that my wife hasn't been taking her daughter to visitation with her ex, and that the ex immediately filed for contempt of court. I guess she "didn't feel safe, because she thinks he drinks".

If she got locked up, or if this was even put on her record, it would be great for me. I don't know if the ex actually is doing anything, but even if he was, without a modification to the order, will my wife see any consequences, or is our legal system a joke?

advice.only2's picture

Nothing will happen, sorry but the courts do everything they can to protect the victim BM.  

juststressedbeyondbelief's picture

I actually filed and was granted emergency custody as the male in the relationship, so that worked out. It's crazy though, that I was granted the custody, but then she was able to keep her other child - (her crime was domestic violence).

I really want to move out of state now, back to my family (support system). I'm trying to find out what I'd have to stick her with in order to do that.

tog redux's picture

Wait, you were able to get custody of your daughter? You've left her? When did this happen?

juststressedbeyondbelief's picture

Back in October I made the post that I called the police on her to have her arrested for assault. They didn't do anything then. A short while back, she was throwing things at me and knocked the baby once. 

I'm still living at my house, I'm glad that I could kick her out. She stays with her parents. It was pulling teeth to get a magistrate to grant emergency custody.

She hasn't filed for custody yet, but I'm sure she will eventually. I want to find a legitimate reason to leave the state, since I'm in this state alone. That way, she'd have to travel to where I live in order to fight me in family court.

Lollybobs's picture

Well done...I'm glad you've finally got her out. I appreciate it must be tough for you working F/T and with no family suport network close by.

advice.only2's picture

It won't last long, my DH got custody after meth mouth got arrested a 3rd time, then he spent seven years fighting to try and retain custody.  This was with her being in and out of jail, rehab, domestic violence in her other ex, DUIs.  

justmakingthebest's picture

It will be very hard to move out of state and take the baby for a few reasons:

  • States don't like to give up custody being held in their state.
  • Your wife is still trying to be active in the baby's life
  • The baby can't travel alone as an unaccompanied minor yet

You aren't just going to have to show contempt. It will be more like 10 contempts, her custody reduced to supervised visitation, you have a higher paying job and agree to be the sole transportation provider, the strong family support system, that you are allowing her family to still be active in the baby's life, ect. It is really hard to get the courts to grant a move out of state if one parent doesn't agree to it. 

hereiam's picture

It is a joke. She certainly won't get locked up or have a record. She might get a slap on the wrist and get told to obey the court order but that's about it. Rinse and repeat.

My DH did have a judge who told BM that if she didn't sign the 8332 form so that DH could claim SD on his taxes, that he would put her in jail. She signed it, so don't know if she really would have gone to jail or not.

Ursula's picture

My SDs mom has been found in contempt two times and was told by the magistrate that if she didn't knock it off a change in custody would be happening.  It was enough to at least temporarily scare her into following the CO. 

Siemprematahari's picture

Have you ever wondered if the situation with her Ex wasn't all his doing but that she had a lot to do with the demise of their relationship? I'm not taking away from her domestic violence situation but when she spoke to you about her X do you think she only volunteered certain information and left a lot out regarding what really went on?

juststressedbeyondbelief's picture

Ex became an alcoholic.

For that, I can see why.

I was conscience of this, yes. It's why I hadn't had a drop of alcohol, or any kind of drug since the glass of champagne I drank at my wedding.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

I'm really glad to see you back. Thanks for the update, and sending positive thoughts your way.

Rags's picture

It depends on your judge.  If the judge has balls BM will realize consequences. If not.... XH needs to keep filing contempt motions every time BM violates the CO.

Eventually BM may feel some pain.  If XH does nothing, she most definately will not feel any consquences for her actions.