Child's surname and problems with ex
Hi all. New here. I want to check my thinking.
My ex-boyfriend and I have joint physical custody of our 6-year old. There are no other kids. I was married before pregnancy for a few years. I kept my married name--too much hassle to change it back. I didn't want to get married again when I got pregnant, which caused some distancing with ex-bf. We soon split for that and other reasons. Since birth our child has gone by hyphenated surname--Father's name-hyphen-My name. Bio father is good father. He takes care of school, childcare, no financial problems, almost always covers for me when working late or other commitments. He and child have good relationship. Dad and I=just okay relationship. Seen worse.
I remarried two years ago to another man who was more compatible. He also has good relationship with child, although bio-dad refuses to call him step father which I find extremely annoying. Bio-dad lives about a mile from us.
Child is now six and bio-dad tells me he'd like son to have only his real dad's name, in other words my last name comes off. I don't agree. Bio-dad says it is confusing to our son and to other people that he has another man's name as the second name and because in a hyphenated name situation, the first part of surname tends to get dropped over time. I haven't heard of that happening?
Is my child's surname set-up so unusual, even if it is partly my ex-husband's name? It's my name now too. I didn't even change my name to my new husband's name so son and I would have the same name. I don't plan to have more kids with my husband and he was previously single. No kids. Will it be confusing for our child to keep surname as is? Will I lose something if I agree with bio-dad? Male territorial pride at work here? Thanx.