Calls from BM to DH
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BM calls DH at 11:00 am yesterday to ask how SK (9) was doing. That was all she wanted to ask. Apparently she does this on a regualar basis. Time is split 50/50. Am I nuts for thinking that she really is calling just to talk to DH? She use to send text with this question and I told DH I didn't like it but I guess that meant that phone calls were okay?
I think that she only wants to talk to DH. If is was SK why wouldn't she call when she could talk to SK (not that I really like that either because I hate the winny baby I miss my mommy).
Nine is old enough to answer
Nine is old enough to answer the phone when she calls.
I agree every time she calls
I agree every time she calls have sd answer that will be the end of it. When you start doing that make a note of how many times and long that lasts. }:)
SK are in school when she
SK are in school when she calls. She can only talk to DH.
Then, he does not answer.
Then, he does not answer. Give her an email address, and let her know communication will only be through email unless emergency, and she is welcome to call her daughter between x:xx and x:xx.
Really? Both parents are
Really? Both parents are allowed access or telephone calls to their children when in the other's care. Even though it may be irritating to SM, a 5 second phone call is not a total interruption. If DH doesn't want to answer her calls,or you are irritated she is disrupting your time with DH, hand the phone to the Skid, or buy the skid their own cell phone to establish communication when they are with the other parent.
This isn't about BM talking
This isn't about BM talking to SK this is about her talking for no real reason other than to chant with DH.
Superstopmommy how is this
Superstopmommy how is this not giving access to bm if the kid is in school when she calls?? Nope bm is calling to talk to dh only has nothing to do with sm it has everything to do with bm wanting to control WHEN she calls and to talk to dh.
Op have your dh let all calls go to VM while skid is not there and he can decide if it is important enough to call her back. That is what my dh did and it made a WORLD of difference!
No I agree.. if the skid is
No I agree.. if the skid is in school then DH should not answer the phone. The DH is giving BM control by answering every time she calls. I agree her calls should go to voice mail.
You know somewhere else on
You know somewhere else on this site a troll mentioned how we, Step moms, are controlling of DH's time, etc.
But our DHs don't know what to do. They don't want to talk to BM anymore than we want them to, but the idea of just not answering the call doesn't really enter their mind until we mention it. And then a light bulb goes off and they go "yeah, I just won't talk to her then, if it's important she'll leave a message"
There are so many times DH complains about whatever stupid thing BM does or says or demands and when I tell him what to do (and he does it) it usually works out for him. And it's just logical stuff, I'm not some genius, I just look at how I'd deal with this problem if it was anybody else, but he just can't think straight when it comes to her.
I don't want to be some controlling wife, I hate it, but he has no idea how to deal with her. He is learning though so I don't have to do it as much.
Yep, sometimes our she need
Yep, sometimes our she need us, like we need this board. To get the perspective of someone not the the middle of the situation. To mention the obvious solution that they couldn't see. Sometimes it just takes someone else to see the forest for the trees, and point it out.
Our BM thinks everyone in the
Our BM thinks everyone in the world is interested in every detail of her life, and talks FOREVER to anyone who will listen. She calls SO multiple times a week, and has conversations that should take 2 minutes, but they end up taking 25 because she never shuts up. Kind of annoying, IMO, but it doesn't really bug me that much. I know I wouldn't listen to her blabber on about all the dumb crap in her life though.
This is how BM is too!!! He
This is how BM is too!!! He doesn't answer her calls anymore but it was 20 min calls of her talking and him just listening. Now its like this she calls, he ignores, she calls again, he ignores. Then the texts "answer it's about SD" which would make him answer or call her right away to find it had nothing to do with SD just her usual BS. So now when she texts for him to answer he says "what" she responds its too long to text you need to call me. He ignores and she calls again probably like two or three more times then she will finally leave the longest voice mail possible. Rambling on and on about nothing. Then another few texts saying how he is terrible for not communicating with her. It's really funny actually you would think she would get the hint by now it's been about 6 mos of him not responding to her. Oh and the best one if she has SD she will have SD call him then grab the phone from her. She's a real winner }:)
BM in my life is like this
BM in my life is like this too. She doesn't talk to me. But the first time I was around her she had invited herself over to my DHs parent's house last min. She talked nonstop for 2 hours. I thought she was just nervous, but everybody says that's just the way she is and has always been. And DH hates talking to her because what should be a 2 min conversation ends up being an hour. He's pretty good about speeding her up and keeping her on track.
Well hell yes I am
Well hell yes I am controlling of DH's time. He is supposed to be with ME not ex, bearer of crotch droppings.
If he wants to spend his time talking, visiting, being friends with her then I'll find someone who is more interested in me than the ex. I am almost 60 so I've lived a lot of life. I love him very much but have no doubt I could stop loving him if I wanted to. Yes I am not a cute young thing - but I am attractive and pretty connected on a lot of levels. There are plenty of older men who prefer a partner that is closer to their age.