Holidays
I use to love the holiday season, the time from Thanksgiving (my fav holiday) to New Years. I would get excited about all of the great food, good times making memories with family and friends, the spirit, and finally ending with a new fresh start.
Now, (beginning 3 years ago) I dread them. I hate the arguments about $ over gifts for spoiled kids that barely see their father and it ends up being more than for the kid(s) that live with us. I hate waiting until so and so is over before we do anything. I hate the "make out your list so that Santa knows what you want" and then buying everything that is even asked for then to have it used only once. I hate the comparing of my cooking to their mom's cooking or my traditions to their moms traditions. I hate that if I bring an issue up to HB that he goes into defense mode to protect his little princess.
I HATE BEING A STEP PARENT!! AND ESPECIALLY THIS TIME OF YEAR!!
I should have stuck to my gut feeling after telling HB (boyfriend at the time) that he was still living in the past with his ex and there was no room for me.
It's fine when the kids are not around but I dread the times they are around and even more so at this time of year which I use to love.
God I used to feel the same
God I used to feel the same when I was with my ex. He'd never compromise on anything and always put us into major debt buying for his 4 kids while my one kid got barely anything. It was completely frustrating. And we ALWAYS had to go to his family's for christmas and not my family's.
Know what I did to change it? I divorced his ass. In all seriousness, it had nothing to do with the stepbrats - my ex cheated and I caught him in the act. Long story but it's posted here somewhere.
Anyhow, the situation I'm in now is my DH has a daughter, 14, and I have a daughter, 14. Mine lives with her dad in Michigan, we're in CO and SD lives with her mother, about 5 miles away. We originally agreed to set an equal spending cap of $200 for each girl. Well, SD has pulled some shit recently so he may not even give her anything.
It's all about compromise though. If your DH isn't willing to budge, there's always going to be resentment.
I live in the UK, we don't
I live in the UK, we don't have Thanksgiving, but I don't enjoy Xmas, because of the SDs presence. They seem to become doubly obnoxious, then, and last year was a record - with SD17 walking out of our house when we were just about to eat, and my DD27 and her boyfriend were just about to arrive.