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BM is pregnant

girlonstage22's picture

So I havent been on here in a long time. A lot has changed! I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy which is so deeply loved by SD10. Read old posts if ya wanna know the whole terrible story!

Anywho so to make it short- We were married Oct 07 after dating 2 years. BM was married in Nov 07 to the man she 'didnt' cheat with. And she had been engaged twice that year and was not 'dating" him until a month before they got married. So needless to say she prob got married bc DH did.

So... We just had a baby a few months ago and was really nervous about SD's reaction but she loves him so much. She talks about him constantly. Brags all the time! When I was preggo she never left my side on our weekend. For months BM has said they didnt want anymore children. And when she was married to DH, she refused as to not ruin her body again. (important fact also DH is 10 years older than me)So imagine our surprise when SD calls to tell us BM is preggo. My heart sank immediately. Now SD is going to be like she was with me with her mom. SD is completely obsessed with her mom. Which means she will forget about her little bro. And now on holidays and whatnot BM is gonna always insist SD be there with her child. This is the worst thing that could happen.

Has anyone gone through a similar situation? I'm so tired of dealing with this.

StepG's picture

H and I are trying to get pregnant. BM had a baby 2 years ago and during her pregnancy SS was as you put it obsessed with his mom did not want to leave her side. Then when baby brother was born that became the light in his eye....he LOVED his baby brother. So now SS is constantly rubbing my belly and telling me he will be glad when I have a baby and when we out in public and see a baby he will sigh and look at me and say one day Step G you will have one of those. Now in talking about us having a baby SS always tells me how much he is going to love our baby just as much as he loves his already baby brother. So my point is if your SD10 has welcomed your baby so openly and lovingly then do not stress her forgetting baby bro when her mom has her baby. Seems like your SD10 has enough love to spread around. It just sucks that BM comes in and steals your thunder with her new pregnancy - sounded like you were right about BM doing these things cause your H did.

girlonstage22's picture

Thanks I really hope she does. It would be really sad to know she would turn her back on him. I'm hoping for the best. Wish you the best with trying! They are beautiful blessings...even the step ones! Wink

SM#1's picture

My H n me were engaged the same day (Christmas Eve) that Bm and her H were. My H included the SD and our BS2 (5 months at the time) in the proposal. SD was so happy and even started crying! That of course was before the s@@t hit the fan. Anyway so we were engaged the same day. BM and H were married April us July. SD was the flower girl, BM felt bad about that since they eloped. Of course tried blaming me for that! If she felt bad or SD made her feel that way it wasnt my fault! I never said anything about her marrying without SD--though my H said a few things he shouldn't have. Me the SM was blamed of course!! Sorry off topic.

I am currently 6 months pregnant with my H and my 2nd. My SD9 BM is 5 months pregnant with her 2nd. I am not sure if BM did this on purpose or not. We were telling SD that we were having another baby very soon, she may have told her BM. But BM said she did not want anymore children either---but her H wanted one. Us getting pregnant at the same time may have been unplanned, BM thinks I am a piece of crap and probably wont give a damn what we did.

girlonstage22's picture

I planned our wedding 6 months in advance to include SD. But my DH had his weekends wrong on the calendar so we ended up not having her. She refused to be in the wedding mainly bc of BM's influence. So her aunt brought her and sat in the back with her fingers in her ears crying... the aunt not SD. Then proceeded to talk on her cell phone! They left without even talking to us. My poor SD has been put thru so much just bc of her mom.

Dawn-Moderator's picture

wasn't all that interested in Bm's pregnancy. Bm tried to force things on him but he didn't really care one way or the other. Then when he found out it was going to be a girl, he was even less interested. Now, the little sister is 4 and ss hates her and wishes she would go away. Of course Bm isn't raising the girl with any discipline so she is just awful. She throws fits in public when she doesn't get her way and the whole bit.

I don't have any bio kids so I don't know how my ss would have reacted to that.

Anyway, I guess it just depends on the situation.

Dawn