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BM overstepping and MIL never ending BS

Losingit321's picture

So my DH gets a call from his mom telling him that she will buy tickets to an event that SD wanted to go to.  Ok normally this would be fine.  Except the event is one that the BM called to tell my SD about and 2 SD was told it's too expensive and I know for a fact the the BM told MIL this and she offered to buy us the tickets. 

UMMMM How is it the BM's place to ask MIL for anything for me.  I no longer care what their relationship is but she has no right to ask her to buy ME anything.  I told my DH that I have pride and I don't need any hand outs.  I also told him next time his mother can buy tickers for him BM and the kid and keep me out of it.  Sorry if that sounds harsh but I think that took a lot of nerve for the BM to even ask that.  I mean I can see if she asked her for the money for BM and her daughter to go... but us?? I know she can't go because she is too large and lazy but still.  Now mind you this is the BM that has her kid 2 days a month if I am lucky.  


DH got mad at me about this... he at first didn't feel his ex wife did this!  Well of course she did.  I mean I know that the BM will never emotionally divorce him but to me it takes a lot of nerve to ask an ex mother in law this.

ESMOD's picture

Do you think that SD mentioned this to MIL/grandma?  But otherwise.. do MIL and BM talk much? do they still have a relationship?  I know my MIL considers her Ex DIL's still fine to be friendly with.. because "I have known them forever and they are the mothers of my grandbabies".. gag.  

If you and your DH had made a decision that this thing was not a good value you can tell MIL.. thanks but no thank you.. we think it's a waste of money.  But, if MIL can afford it.. it doesn't mean that you couldn't have spent the money on it.. just that you had other priorities.. and that doesn't mean she thinks you are too poor to afford it.

As an aside.. apparently my BIL and his new wife hang out with his EX some.. she apparently spent the night at their place the other weekend.. !!!??!!  I know because I could see her car over there and she wasn't at my inlaws (my BIL and his wife live in an inlaw suite behind his parents house.. I live next door with my DH). I can't imagine.. what was going on there.. well maybe I can but it's not a mental image I want hahahaha

Losingit321's picture

I at one time had a huge prob with this... they talk all the time.  I mean the youngest will be 13 and has lived with us since she was 7.  But yes they talk all the time and the BM will not move on w/ her life.  I do not talk to MIL that much because I find it  odd for her to carry on w a woman that gives up her kid then after that harasses her son and me w/ CPS amoungst other BS.  HA I am glad you can laugh about the BIL thing.... I find this all so bizarre! 

Initally my DH said it was his daughter that mentioned it.. then I hear her say that she told mom to tell her not to buy the tickets... I mean why are they going over our plans?  I prob wouldnt think it was so nuts if they dynamics werent so effed up! 

Thumper's picture

Does MIL have a habit of injecting herself into private family matters. Remember, family is husband, wife, children. WHEN kids marry the inlaws must step back.

Or is this a 1 time fluke?

Losingit321's picture

The BM cannot let go after 7 years.  She injects herself into MIL life... it's really odd.  At first I thought it was to get scoop on us but now I think it's because it's her way of feeling like she is still married to him.  She's even invited to some family events.  I think if she wasn't so toxic it wouldn't bother me.  I mean thru the years I have had CPS police called etc on me... her suicide attempts...

BM called the SD about the concert... UMMM if you aren't taking her why even tell her about it.. Idk I just get so frustrated w/ that.