BM and her 'social' visits
I know this topic is not life and detah but it's bothering me.I have never met BM.BF has done a good job of comparing me to her and in some sensitive areas I have come out worse.I know that is not BM's fault.
I have never talked to her,only seen her through a car window and generally make myself scarce when she comes.Her sister is stunning, she looked quite nice from pics.I have talked to 'SS' grandparents.
My BF owns a bar.To be fair, generally BM does not just turn up there without warning and OK it's a public bar.
It still bothers me.When 'SS' is there she comes to pick up money etc from BF (if he is busy and she needs money sooner) and sits and has a drink with one of her family members/her BF.She used to work in a bar with my BF and also another partner.
The other day she came to pick up her money at the bar, drank some drinks, left to get food,then came back to drink more drinks.Why did she need to spend most of the evening there?
I was not happy and apparently seemed unhappy.I agree it's nice to be sociable for 'SS' and maybe I am some to blame for my insecurity.She is queen bee.I just can't seem to get over it.
follow on
Also she came to BF's bar on her birthday (at the weekend) with family members not her BF.She said it was because 'SS' had a present for her.She never wants to see 'SS' at the weekend normally.She sat there drinking.BF would never say 'No' to her he just says 'I can't stop her can I?'. Once I got flowers after she'd been.I believe she has also taken her second child from her ex husband (not my BF)down to his for a holiday-not sure if she was with her BF.I've a feeling she's one of these women who want to think they still have power,maybe any man, even if they don't want him.
I would be hanging out at the public bar too
I would definitely NOT respect it as HER space. I don't care if she used to work there, or if she needs to stop by to get money from BF. I would then hang out there too. If she wants to socialize with your BF then she should socialize with you as well. I made this a rule in my first marriage (first H had been married before me and the exW wanted to hang out with him one on one and couldn't stand to be near me- NOPE! Not going to happen.)
I am very friendly with my ExH and his wife BOTH. To me that's the only respectful way to maintain a friendship with an ex/bf of your kid. I think it's great if parents who split can become friends, but that means that the ex accepts the new GF or W as a friend too. Otherwise they are simply trying to have an exclusive friendship and that's not right.
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
Hi
To be honest it is probably more my fault than hers.She may be friendly and I am not exactly excluded,I am just told she is coming and am not allowed a say (OK I don't live there but am often there).I just think it's a bit wierd to turn up on your birthday and to spend a lot of time at the bar when she does come.She picked up her money/had drinks , why the need to come back for more drinks? They might be free.It's possible she may be trying to see me,just stating 'I'll come and go as I like' or just being friendly.Note my BF said her BF didn't seem happy either.Never mind the stepparents either.
go in
and acidently be drinking in there when she is
life is a box of choclates you never know what your going to get (i always pick the coffe of the box what about you )