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Being a second wife is lonely

secondtoall's picture

First post here, and I'm not sure I know all of the rules yet, but here goes:

While dating, my now husband was so romantic, detailed, and loving. I have always thought it's all about the details.One of the things we would do is leave each other post-it notes in random places. I started this, and he enjoyed it. Almost as soon as we got married, those things came to a halt. When I have mentioned it, he says he is just busier now.

Yesterday, my SD came home from school, hugged her dad, and went on and on about loving how he does these things for her. She went out of her way to show me the loving post-it note he left in her planner. Now, don't get me wrong, I love that he does these things for her and also for my SS, but I find myself hurt and jealous of his own daughter. He is present with them and gives of himself, but when it is just me or when it involves us....he's just not there.

It has only been a few months, and I can't bear to think of how this is all going to play out. It's lonely and bullshit.

Imastep's picture

I know exactly how you feel. My DH puts SD first and foremost above everything (read some of my recent rants posted here)....he texts her all the time "Good Morning sweetheart, have a great day" etc etc yet never does that for me. It really is total bullshit. Had I known how second rate I was going to be I honestly never would have gotten married. My SD was 6 when we married and it wasn't so bad until a few years ago when she became more of an adult, when she walks in the door its like his fiancé has arrived. Buckle your seatbelt cause the ride can be very hard and bumpy ...:(

Cocoa's picture

if you're feeling resentful about this, i'm sure it's the tip of the iceberg. maybe your dh is too complacent in your relationship? there are remedies for that.