Anybody else ever had to deal with this?
So about 3 years ago we discovered fleas in the house. We have 2 cats and a dog and had never had the problem before, always had pets, never had fleas. Because of the lack of history, I didn't have them on preventative. (my mistake) I put them on preventative and battled the problem until it was seemingly eradicated. We kept the animals on meds and I still vacuumed religiously at least 2 times a day. Washed all the clothes and bedding every day, periodically sprayed chemical that should kill and prevent them hatching. Then the SKs came back and it all started up again. They deny having them at their mom's house. We know it isn't true. They come back literally stinking from animal waste every time they come, they've had problems in school because of this too. She has 4 dogs or better and 5 cats for sure. She doesn't use preventative, she doesn't clean, she once bombed and it got better for about a month. I'm 98% sure that's where they're coming from as they seem to span out from the SK room and we get a boom every time they are here. The SKs are 14 and 12, so they are not little kids anymore. IF the SKs are gone for any period of time, the problem stops completely.
So I enacted a protocol that they change and shower as soon as they get here. The clothes are washed in hot or put outside (MN winter so like 10 degrees) I then vacuum like a lunatic and we go about our day. It was helping until H decided to not enforce the protocol. Now they wander around in the clothes and shoes for who knows how long and it's raged up again. My kids and I are the only ones that get bitten. I get all kinds of hassle when I ask them to shower and change. I know they don't care. I get it. But we're being eaten alive and no matter what I do I can't get rid of the problem. I've tried every chemical I can think of, but when you get reinfested almost every day...good luck.
So, I'm fairly losing my mind. I've asked the vets around here what I can do for a flea problem that isn't stemming from my own house. She said keep medicating your pets, but that's all you can do.
I have been fighting this battle for like 3 years. I need ideas. I figure if anyone had dealt with this before, it would be you.
Thanks
Haven't had to deal with them
Haven't had to deal with them bringing home fleas (somehow... Psycho had like 30 some odd cats at one point, whole house was GROSS). But have had to deal with them coming home reeking and looking like s***.
First off, I might consider putting in an anonymous tip to CPS... She can't cover that up, and those are some AWFUL conditions for kids to beliving in!!!
Over all, salt in carpet helps, lemongrass is supposed to help repell them and lavender. So maybe some of that in your home? My furbaby is allergic to fleas so I keep him on pills and normally clean the floors with a few drops of lavender essential oils (I'm also just paranoid though because the rural south has more strange bugs than I'm used to from a city out west. LMAO)
I've read about these plug in sonic flea repellers you might try. You can get them on Amazon and then spread them around your home. Might help some.
I had a freak outbreak once a
I had a freak outbreak once a few years ago. My dog had been on frontline FOREVER (like 10 years) and then it happened, I swear overnight we were infested. The vet had me switch to the sorento collar for him and it worked. I did have to bomb my house though and do more laundry that I ever thought possible.
If it is the stepkids and not needing to change your preventitive- I think you are doing the only thing you can. I am sure they are embaressed that they have to shower because they are infested with bugs, but unless BM does something you really don't have another choice.
The plug things sound really helpful! Although I am not sure that you can repell them from the kids room without them traveling to yours...
Spray the little aholes with
Spray the little aholes with bug spray when they enter your home if they won't wash.
LMAO!!!
That's hilarious. I'm not sure how effective it would be, but it's hysterical to think about.
Holy crap, no way I could
Holy crap, no way I could live with on and off flea problems for 3 freaking years. You are a way more patient person than I am. I would have blown my freakin top about this a LONG time ago. Bubonic plague is transmitted via fleas, just FYI. I can only imagine the more you are exposed to them the greater your chance of getting it is.
I agree that you should call CPS as the skids should not be living in such nasty conditions. But in the mean time you should not have to deal with this crap either. You have to have a serious sit down with your husband about this and get him back on board with the immediate showers and such. This is not fair to you and your kids just so perhaps skid feelings about their mom's infestation can be saved.
Oh honey...
I blow my top regularly. It's just that nobody cares what I think. That's the plain and simple of it. We have constant arguments. It's probably by sheer force of will that we're not divorced.
The bubonic plague requires rats infested with bubonic plague to be also present. They aren't. However, there are a number of other issues that can arise. AHhhh the amount of research I've done. I know about the consequences of tampering with nature, but I'm here to tell you there should have been a way to eradicate parasitic insects long ago.
Well...at least you're safe
Well...at least you're safe from The Black Death? But seriously, it's not healthly.
Constant arguments about being repeatedly infested with fleas because of the skid poor living environment? Why? Why does your husband think it is ok? Why hasn't he forced the issue with BM? How is this ok with your husband??
Because "there's nothing he
Because "there's nothing he can do about it."
He can't make her do anything. He can't even make her take them to school. He does it for one and I homeschool the other. He goes and gets her and brings her here and then brings her back.
He just WON'T argue with her. At all. The only one he seems able to argue with is me.
I get that he feels it's futile. I also get that even if he were to say they can't come back until they're bug free- they just wouldn't come back. That terrifies him, which I get, and since nobody is in a position to make her change, she won't. They don't want him to have full custody and they're old enough to make it so. The police don't care, CPS, School etc. They've all "tried" and aren't willing to do anything about it.
Good thoughts :)
Good thoughts :) We've been using Revolution for about 6 months for the cats and Nexgard for the dog. I've seen dead fleas on the cats and I only ever see/find adults. Never the smaller stages, which would suggest they aren't growing up here. I added lemon and citrus a week or so back to my cleaning sprays to try to knock back. We also use coconut oil on our bodies because it allegedly repels them and moisturizes skin so win win. I used Indorex spray and Precor spray and that slowed it down, but hasn't been able to eradicate them. If I had the extra money I'd buy the collars for her animals just to get some relief. I don't though. Besides, she'd likely not use them anyway. Like I said, they don't get bit. Just me and my little boys. Even my husband is immune. GAH!
They've always done the shower, well at least the last few years because people gag in the same room from the smell, even in a classroom. So they had been doing it anyway. Their argument is that it doesn't affect them, so why should they care.
I've heard of the sereseto collar and have considered it. As an add on method rather than a switch. The vet said in our case it could help- they're just really expensive.
The first 6 months I tried the chemical free way. I was not successful. :(
And as an aside: the CPS here is ridiculously ineffective. I know from the inside out. I worked for them for a number of years and then we had a crazy crazy series of CPS reports against us by BM which ended only when I made the rule that they could only be here when H was here. We've backed off it some 4 years later, because the point has been made. But I can tell you for a certainty they would not even be remotely interested. We had them check her house once when they were little. They gave her a month with notice before they came in to check. She hired it cleaned and it was passable. They won't do anything now because the kids are all over 10 and COULD clean if they chose. They don't.
Soresto collar was no more
Soresto collar was no more expensive than the monthly stuff, and it lasts 9 months or so.
60ish dollars or better per
60ish dollars or better per pet. I have 3 pets. Also, we don't know if it'll help and the vet never said instead of, she said in addition. So now we're looking at 180 dollars or more plus the 70 I'm already spending on their normal flea meds plus the sprays and whatever else we need. For something that "might" help :/ Hence the dilemma. I really don't have the extra money to keep doing this.
Thanks.
After reading this thread, I'm now itching and feeling those things crawling all over my brain.
Apologies
Sorry. I know how you feel.
My gosh this reminds me of
My gosh this reminds me of someone who's mother in laws house had fleas. NO not mine. Anyway if you went over there they would bite your ankles. WHEN the MIL and FIL would visit..the flies would travel to the UN FLEA house. It was awful.
THEN of course the unflea peoples animals got fleas because GRANNY Flea house brought them over.
Until bm's home is treated and maintained, your house and skids will bring in the fleas.
CALL Animal Control and report. Sorry I would not willingly allow anyone with fleas in my house. Just like lice....
GoodLuck
Have you actually SEEN the
Have you actually SEEN the fleas? If only certain people are experiencing the itchy bites, it sounds more like bedbugs to me. It would also explain why your tactics aren't working.
Definitely not bed bugs.
Definitely not bed bugs. Done extensive checking there. Have seen fleas. Multiple. Adults over this span of time.
If the protocol
of making them wash and change clothes was working - then clearly that is what needs to happen. All the cleaning in the world isn't going to help if new bugs are brought in whenever the kids are over. This would be my hill to die on. Kids wash or DH finds another place to live when they are with him.
Why should you and your kids and your animals be exposed to fleas and chemicals when they don't need to be? And what is wrong with your DH that he thinks it is ok for the skids to live with fleas and ok for you and your (his?) kids to be bitten by them?
I imagine because only myself
I imagine because only myself and our two sons are affected. Clearly WE are the problem.
Your situation reminds me of
Your situation reminds me of stories of housewives in the Dust Bowl committing suicide. They would try and try to keep the dust out of their homes, only to have it find its way in. The futility of it all and their inability to beat the dust back proved too much for some to bear.
Point being, you've tried and tried, only to have your efforts negated by your H. He isn't interested in your plight, apparently has given up on the hope of being able to help his older children, and doesn't seem to care about his younger kids all that much, either. At this point, to him your voice is like the adults in the Peanuts programs - Wonk wonk wonk.
Time to take a different tact - one that will make him feel the pain. I think I'd start by putting the skids' flea infested clothing/bedding in HIS vehicle (hopefully the cold won't kill them?). Then I'd schedule an appointment with the kids' pediatrician, and drag him with for a talk about the harmful effects of fleas. For Christmas, give him marriage counseling sessions - nothing else. Let him know this isn't just about the fleas any more, but about whether you want to continue being in a marriage with a spineless fraction of a man who's willing to sacrifice his family's comfort for his own. Oh, and invite friends and your family over. Apologize loudly for the flea infestation, and explain exactly where it comes from. Be savage, KWIM?
I have thought exactly that
I have thought exactly that thing. I don't tolerate futility very well and it's been a steady number of years living it now. I think my voice has always been the same as the adults in Charlie Brown to him.
His stance remains "what do you want me to do about it?" Trying to compel her is impossible, the courts and CPS and everyone else around here is pointless, we don't even have an animal control. I get that. But he shouldn't have this much trouble compelling his progeny while they are here.
He was lying. Has maintained
He was lying. Has maintained since the beginning that he wasn't getting bitten. Turns out he is. He just wouldn't tell me because then I'd be even more adamant about doing something. I mentioned taking our boys and leaving until it was over. Suddenly he had "several bites from last week and it wasn't just us and why was it always his fault." *eyeroll* But he's agreed to reinact my protocol and deal with the pissy kid. We shall see. :/ BUT he did have a reasonable suggestion in that instead of garbage bags we might try space/gian ziploc bags to get them around. Less likely bugs get out on the way to washing and can't re-infect. Promptly left to buy them. So I'm happy about that.
He was LYING FOR 3 YEARS?
He was LYING FOR 3 YEARS? I don't think I could control myself at that point. I really don't know what to say. But I do know that I would have them shower and then wait until those brats were asleep and dose them with the "big dog" dose of flea med. Part their hair and squeeze that gel right in there.
3 years of saying it was your problem and he was not affected at all. Holy hell.......
At a certain point, we have
At a certain point, we have to admit that anger does no good. Some of our partners are simply incapable of dealing with their exes and/or their kids. Each situation is unique, and some of us have had to resort to either handling things for our SOs because they are paralyzed by fear, guilt, the scars of abuse, PTSD, or whatever, or walking away from the relationship because we recognize that our partner is not going to take whatever steps are necessary to improve things.
If your H has resisted dealing with this issue for three long years, his problem runs deep. It's a positive step that he fessed up and offered a solution as that puts your working together. Still, you might consider sitting the skids down (either with DH or not) and having a frank yet compassionate talk with them about what's really going on. It must be pretty awful to have to live in a house of filth and have people at school aware of the flea problem. I wish you well in whatever you decide to do about this. I'm scratching just thinking about it.
Ewe
Im so sorry that your DH is dragging his feet. He could at least have a discussion with BM.
Good luck - Im glad you found some solutions.
I equate your flea
I equate your flea aggrivation to allergies. People who do not have them cannot possibly understand the misery that they cause.
My GPs (on dad's side) had dogs. Dad and I are deathly allergic to dogs, cats, mold, pollen, etc.... We would not stay at my GP's home because within 36hrs of arriving at their home we would be on the verge of bronchitis from the allergens. My wife didn't understand why I refused to stay at my ILs shit hole nasty dirty allergy hell of a house when we visit my IL clan. Until she developed a mold allergy and cannot tolerate her own parent's home.
So we stay in the only decent hotel in town. Thank God for Best Western!!!! And a newer one at that.