Preach it, sister! I am with you. Let's not paint everyone with a very broad brush.

I support my 2 kids too, and even though i appreciate what their dad and SM do for them,
our dynamic is very different: BD and SM jerk my DH and me around, do not let us know
when they will take the kids, pick them up later, bring them back earlier than planned,
do not take them over the summer or spring break,
do not pay ANY share of braces/trips/camps/medical or dental bills. We provide health insurance,
SAT classes, etc. My DH, the step-dad, does much more for my kids than their SM. As in: comes to their games. graduations, other school events. Takes them places.

I do not alienate my kids from their dad or his family. My ex-MIL is a saint, and we visit her often.
She is a WWII veteran and when she turned 90 last year, i took my kids to see her,
we brought gifts and did an hour-long interview with her about her war-time memories that i typed up.
My sons used it for extra credit in their history classes.

I think i am a perfect ex-wife! My vote is for peaceful coexistence where ex-spouses respect each other's interests. It's a long and winding road. Gratitude goes both ways. My ex-husband expressed his appreciation to
DH over the holidays for everything he does for the boys. That was great to hear!

I don't take the "BM" bashing personally one bit.

I KNOW I am the polar opposite of my DH's ex. I work FT, I pay all of mine and my BS10 bills and also contribute to household bills. My DH's ex works (infrequently) but seems to spend more time on UE and receiving Govt asst. She gets 920.00 a month just from my DH plus there are other BD's who pay for her other kids as well.

I receive 500.00 a month for my BS, I CHOOSE to use 432.00 of it to pay for my sons private school education and the 68.00 remaining I use on my BS for a pair of sneakers or somethng he NEEDS and sometimes I just let BS have it to get something he would like.

These POS who use the CS money on themselves and not on their kids are a disgrace and should have had their ovaries removed at birth!

Please don't take the "bashing" personally, unless you fall in line with what us SM/BMs are venting about in our posts you have NOTHING to worry about! We all know there are GOOD BMs out there but on this site...we just focus on the douchebags for the most part.

Don't take it personally. I'm sure most people on here understand that not all BMs are POS. I like to consider myself one of the good ones Seriously though, I think we all understand that not everyone falls under the wide umbrella of crappy BMs.

Why are there so many women out there willing to support grown ass men? It's absolutely crazy to hitch your wagon to a man who can't/won't support himself or his children.

What in the world is attractive about a man like that???

And yes, I feel the same way about mothers who prowl around for men to support them and their children.

Of course you read a lot of negative things about BMs here because most of us here on ST deal with nasty, psycho BMs. Which in turns, can create nasty stepkids, hence this site.

We all know that not all BMs are like this but it's what we are dealing with.

I wish my wife was like you. I have NO bio kids only SD (that decided at 23 she was too good to talk to me, extremely religious) and BS 20 (that has a feeling of entitlement but is a good kid). BD is $103,000 in the rears but was finally forced by SS to start paying CS about two years ago. Only pays $450 a month, it was suppose to be $650 but SS decided to reduce it without going through court. Wife has made NO attempt to advance herself. She is a college graduate, I'm not but worked hard to climb a ladder the hard way and was considered one of the top in my field when I retired.

Wife has been unemployed for a little over a year before that only cleared about $1,500 a month. NEVER has paid a house payment, utility, auto/health insurance or any other household payment. Rarely cleans house, doesn't do my laundry only hers and kids, seldom cooks (hardly knows how). Prior to retiring I had a six figure income now a little more than half of what it use to be. My pension is about $550 a month less to provide her with survivor benefits. She seldom has anything nice to say to me or of me. We haven't had sex in about two years. Over the years I kept SD and SS in the latest computers, games and clothes. I bought both kids brand new cars when they graduated from high school and up until about a year and a half ago I thought we had a good relationship.

I feel your pain but believe me the pain is on both sides of the street. Good luck.