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Am I the only one?????

floridares2005's picture

I have been with my fiancee for a year. He has 2 girls ages 7 and 9. I have a son age 8 and we have a child on the way. His girls spend every weekend with us and all summer and vacations. I love his 7 year old she is a sweetheart. However I don't feel the same way at all about the older girl. In fact she drives me crazy!!!! She is "special needs", they (doctors) are not sure exactly what her issue is, she may have an autism spectrum disorder, we have also been told she may have shaken baby sydrome...( mom is a mess) either way it effects her. She has speech issues, she is behind in school, and she has no social clues...sometimes she is just embaressing to take in public. This really bothers me that I can't warm up to her. I am a teacher and I love what I do. I love all my students. But this one I can't figure out. I think part of it is the way they were raised......My son is 8 and I have raised him to a very neat and polite child, he is also very smart and considered gifted. My finacee's girls have lived with their mother most of time as my finacee was in the military and not around much. Their mother was a hoarder and pretty much a terrible mother so I know they have issues. Being neat and tidy is non existant for the older one....the younger one at least tries. I feel like a terrible person for not loving both equally. It bothers me so bad it keeps me up at night.....right now we are in the middle of summer vacation and all I can do is count down the days until they go back to their mother.......Does anyone else feel this way????

Pantera's picture

I don't have children of my own, so I don't know what that love is like. But you can't be expected to love a child that isn't yours the same as you love your own. Don't feel bad. There are alot of people on this site that feel the same way you do. And there seem to be alot of people that favor 1 skid over another.

shouldIrun's picture

I am in similar situation. My BF's daughters are in special ed. I have more patience with the younger one than the older. I do not like the older on. Both can be rude, throw tatrums but the older one manipulates both parents, passive aggressive and can be mean. She has even hit her little sister with a shoe on the face.