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Small Victory!

CaveCanem's picture

YES! So the BM was trying to get more money (almost $100 more a week!) for the child from my DH--talking about how she is poor, can't meet the child's "basic survival needs", how she may lose her condo, etc. She's NOT working, hasn't worked in over 2 years, and I will put $ on it that she's NOT seriously looking for work. She pretty much expected my DH to pay for all her bills, pretty much said that in court.

He is paying the max (right now well over $1300 a month), plus we cover health insurance for the child (and the child has state aid as the secondary). She had filed a motion to basically have ALL the math recalculated--mind you the court order was at the end of the December and here we are in March! Her motion got DENIED (I'm betting she pissed off the judge!) and she will have no choice but to find work if she wants more money (and WE can take her to court to get the CS lowered). Don't get me wrong, I feel bad for the kid if what she is saying is true (although $1300 tax free is quite a bit of money, not like we're talking about $300 a month here), however the CS guidelines state that BOTH parents need to be financially responsible, yet so far only my DH has been held financially accountable.

Next up for custody.

It's 1 less thing to worry about because that has REALLY been weighing down on us. We know she is most likely going to file something else or try something else, but for now we can breathe a (small) sigh of financial relief....

sml's picture

My husband went through this too, wow $1300? I NEVER GOT THAT MUCH FOR MY SON..LOL Anway, my husband's ex was ALWAYS taking him to court..last time was when she moved into an apartment and had intentions of him basically paying her rent. I provided insurance for their daughter which I KNEW eat her up but she could have gotten insurance on her by herself so that was HER CHOICE..anyway she basically went in the court room with an affidavit stating she was barely making any money on her buisness she had at the time as a massage therapist and the attorney representing her, basically told her that it didnt matter what she didn't make the insurance was counted in the calculation of the child support and my husband had already got my SD a car also paying her tuition in private school where she quit in the 10th grade. So she ended up with only $185.00 a month yes she was pretty hot about that..but you reap what you sow..she had put my husband through so much hell and thought she was going to keep undermining him but when I came along, I pretty much stopped her at her tracks because I KNEW what she was up to..this has been over 4 years ago but I definitely KNOW HOW IT FEELS.


Kes's picture

Hi Cavecanem - I'm glad your DH is getting some financial justice. This is a bit of a sore point for me also, as my DH pays the vile BM £2000 a month (about $3200) for the wretched SDs, plus he pays the entire bill for their fee-paying schools. Needless to say I think he is pouring money down a rat hole because they both have been diagnosed with ADHD ( not to denigrate kids who genuinely have this but I think just in their case it's bad behaviour and a lack of boundaries from BM)and their grades are under average.
Anyhow, this all means we can only afford to go on holidays where we live, in the UK, while vile BM and her partner (who drives a Porsche) go jetting about the world.
The only light at the end of the tunnel is that in 2 and 4 years time, when the SDs are 18, the maintenance either stops, or in case they go to college (unlikely with their achievement levels) is paid direct to them.

newsm2011's picture

I feel your pain. Just had a small victory myself with the child support. I hate how these Moms and really anyone who doesn't want to work and live off ex husbands wives or the system get the nerve up to do this. Its discusting. But you are doing the right thing. Hey If she can't make it on $1300 a month...with no job...she should not have custody, a car, or a condo for that matter. My Husbands ex-wife decided to get a house (rent to own allegedly) and is now crying she can't afford her bills. How about you get an apartment where utilities are included and that way you could afford it. The amount we paid in CS would cover all of her bills and then some....Hang in there and Remember to do what's right for the children...they deserve the best.

CaveCanem's picture

Thanks! Yes I saw your post too newsm2011 after I made mine and LOL'd!

I hope that now the BM realizes she needs to get a job because I'm sorry, at $1300 a month my DH is doing his part financially. If she is "poor" it's because she's not working. She tried to get my income added, tried comparing our household (saying she's only getting about $14,000--remember that's tax-free for her--compared to our household making 6 figures, and of course that's BEFORE taxes) forgetting that I work plus my DH works, therefore YES we do make a good living, but NO I'm not required to pay for the child, therefore my income can't be considered. Bad enough as a public employee my income is public record.

Chances are she is going to get a very super part-time 5 hour a week job so she can claim "change of circumstances" and try to get a recalc that way, with her old, tired arguments (that now have been officially denied twice!), or we think she will claim something to try and get disability or something. Anything to not have to fully work.

BM Drama. Ain't it grand?!? :sick: