I'm always the bad guy because I refuse to put plans on hold or rearrange set plans to accommodate SD. BM refuses to give DH a schedule for parenting time she claims she can and only will "plan week to week" with him and she doesn't even do that. So I told DH we'd go about our lives and make our plans according to our family and if we have SD great and if we don't well then so be it. I wasn't making special accommodations anymore it wasn't fair to the rest of our family. Dh "claimed" he understood and felt the same way. Yet when it came to planning summer holidays, next Christmas etc he insisted we plan as if we have SD too. I refused stating it'd be silly to buy a plane ticket for her when we don't even know if she's spending the holidays with us and DH was cross with me stating I purposely exclude her. It might appear that way, because I simply don't plan with her in mind. But if she's with us, we buy her a plane ticket. I'm not throwing away several hundreds of dollars on the off chance BM won't still be acting like a complete douchbag and agree to work with us on a schedule. That just isn't likely. It just frustrates me endlessly that DH's guilt and sense of betrayal when he doesn't revolve around SD inadvertently transfers onto the rest of us. Like we're not allowed to live and be happy without SD because that wouldn't be fair to her. Nevermind how unfair things are for everyone else at home here who have grown tired of accommodating such an unreasonable BM. Blah!!