ADHD? Or BM's simple way of dealing with behavioural problems

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SS was diagnosed with ADHD and given ritalin without us knowing.
He turned up with tablets and we had to ask to see the report which she eventually reluctantly handed over.

His BM and SF took him to see a clinical psychologist because of his behaviour. There were so many lies in the report like she had a turbulent relationship with his BF during her first trimester and had to move in with her Dad. (They didn't even break up until SS was 18months old and that was because she cheated) It was like she read everything from the DSM and laid it out for the psychologist.

SS is now on high doses of ritalin which does calm him down but I can see that his behaviour is due to unresolved issues he has with the lies that he has been fed since toddler age.

My OH says if we push the issue she will restrict access even more. But i disagree with just letting him ne on drugs without a true evaluation.

Hollow Point - Whilst I am

Hollow Point - Whilst I am sorry that you have had a difficult past I am sure that you will understand that it is difficult to fully explain the whole situation in just a few sentences.
I knew my partner and his ex when they were still together. She has a history of lying. She has a history of getting what she wants by manipulation. She HAS lied on the REPORT that she and her new husband have signed with the clinical psychologist. That in itself is enough to make me question if he has ADHD. BUT i think in general she is a good mum.
Maybe he doesn't have ADHD, but should we allow him to continue on Ritalin when the doctor might have considered these lies as part of his diagnosis?
My only beef with my OH is that he agrees but is so scared of BM restricting access and having to go back to court that he feels he can't do anything.
Maybe its just being a SM....but I can see that my SS's right to access to his father and our family being abused as well as a very sketchy account from his BM about why she thinks he has ADHD.
I was just trying to see if anyone has been in a similar position.
I am new to this forum and obv need to learn how to phrase things.

beaccountable - The court

beaccountable - The court order is 7 years old and was made when she lived in the same town as us. There are no restrictions just that child maintainnence should continue to be paid as agreed by DD (which it always is.) It says that we are to have him for one night on set weekends of the month.
But since she several hours away a few years ago we had to negotiate times when we could see SS. We would then see him for two nights once a month instead.
It says that travel should be shared 50/50 but we do it all - which is fine.

A year or so ago she moved much closer and we could go back to seeing him more often but she refuses. We have asked her if we could even just come and take him out for the day on my bios birthdays but she has refused. We now only see SS when she says it is convenient. Even though it was on the court order that our visit fell over our wedding she wouldn't let him come as it was her husbands birthday.

The restrictions ie. at Grandmothers house are (she says) because he needs his own room and who drives him, what programs he will be watching and at what time he must be in front of the tv, are all new and just her way of controlling things.

I know SSs right to see his BF and his rights to have both his Bio parents make decisions about his meds, health, schooling etc. But she won't share the info and he won't go back to court because she threatens to withhold access.

You are right tho, I have always stepped back a bit and felt that decisions with my SS are my OHs choice because its his son but its affects my whole family too. He avoids confrontation but I have known for a long time that we need to go back to court. I'm gonna have to press the issue further.

p.s. SS when on ritalin is very well behaved, but barely speaks and seems like a shadow of himself. Without it he can be hard work - moody, sometimes hyperactive, badly behaved but does that mean he has ADHD or that he's a kid?!

BM absolutely has no

BM absolutely has no say.
File contempt on her immediately!

Yes! ^^^ She can NOT go

Yes! ^^^ She can NOT go against the CO. She is breaking the law when she does and ya'll can nail her ass to the wall with it.

HALLOWPOINTS: You're defo

HALLOWPOINTS: You're defo right about seeing if he can get some behavioural therapy too. I am a firm believer that meds work as a temporary measure but they are only masking the issues. Therapy could surely help whether its ADHD or not.

BEACCOUNTABLE: The court order is outdated and needs to be readdressed. If he won't then you're right i'm just gonna have to live with it.

punkin-punkin: Thats exactly my fear. My parents split when i was 3 and I was a terribly behaved child. I always felt like I was being pulled between one or the other and my behaviour was much worse than his. But now Im a respectable adult and I certainly had no issues concentrating - neither does he. Im just not convinced its 100% and feel that he should be retested with true information. He would only have to think it was a routine check. But how do we get BM on board if we'll need her permission too.
Because she has lied I don't see her wanting us to tell any doctor that the first report was wrong and probably won't give us permission.

I'll look into how the doctor avoided getting both parents consent. My OHs name is on the birth certificate so he has parental responsibility. Are u sure it doesn;t just need one parents consent?

A CO shouldn't be "out of

A CO shouldn't be "out of date". The CO ends when the child reaches a certain age or what ever the CO stipulates.

Sophie, I recommend you read

Sophie, I recommend you read one of my previous blogs. I have an SS9 that is ADHD and I posted in the comments below some things that he does because of his ADHD. Also, research it. To be diagnose with ADHD or ADD the child has to put through test. I don't think BM's relationship with your DH has any effect on the diagnoses. ADHD is a mental disorder and mental reactions are gauged i the tests.

If we do try take action

If we do try take action against her for breaking the Court order then will she be arrested? we don't want to cause unnecessary upset for SS. What is the process?
We we're told by Fathershaverightstoo to turn up and if she doesn;t hand him over call the police....but how traumatic would that be to a 9 years old?