“February break” what are your tricks in staying sane????
Here we are with the dreaded February break. I have been dreading this for over a month. Like most of you for many of you I am stuck with this monster for seven days. Yes I work during the day Thank God but when I come home tired from a hard days work I need to deal with step until bedtime which is around midnight. I’m too tired from work to go out and do anything to stay away from the house. Honestly I have thought of going out to my car and just sitting in it to get some peace and quiet. Step Has one voice tone loud and screaming. There is no coming home from work and quietly watching TV. That doesn’t happen he’s around. Step Has no friends so he’s always in the house. Forget about him going up to his room and playing also. He Is never more than 10 feet away from daddy. Step cannot even watch TV alone without having daddy sit right next to him. So basically this means I will not see or talk to my husband for seven days without having step butting in on the conversations. So for the next seven days I will have to deal with this rude loud disrespectful needy brat.
How Do you handle holiday breaks? What are your tricks in keeping sane for the week???Any advice is appreciated!!!!
We were the CP household. It
We were the CP household. It was all kid all of the time for all but 7wks per year when he was on SpermLand visitation. He was there on visitation for 5wks in the summer, 1wk in the winter and 1 wk at spring break.
Interestingly for us, he was a well behaved kid with the exception of the 7-10 day pre visitation behavioral degredation period and the 14-21 day post visitation behavioral detox period.
We lived this for 16+ years until he aged out from under the CO at 18yo. That was 8yrs ago.
SS-26 is a man of character and his mom and I are very proud of the young man we raised together and the man that he has become. So, the breaks were not much different than every other day as far as interfacing with the Skid was concerned.
Midnight?? Seriously, tell
Midnight?? Seriously, tell this kid that after 9pm he has to go hang in his room and entertain himself until bedtime. Kids can be told to go play, they won't die. When skids are around extra I leave the house, quite a bit. Gym, drinks with friends, shopping. Sometimes I even go to movies by myself, or I read in our bedroom. I make myself scarce. It's the only way to survive when you are about to lose it.
“Go hang out in your room”
That’s a good one. That would go over like a fart in church. SS would Literally tell me to go Eff myself and DH would “pretend” to not hear it or better yet would defend SS by saying I’m trying to get rid of SS and he can sense it..Umm no shit Sherlock is it a crime to want an hour or so of Peace before bed???
Wow, what complete bullsh*t.
Wow, what complete bullsh*t. Honestly, if I suggested this to my SO (that skids went to their rooms at 9), he would not respond well to it either. Luckily we don't really need to, because skids here are normal and play in their rooms quite a bit. However, if SS ever told me to eff myself, that would not fly. My SO wouldn't allow it, and he certainly wouldn't ignore it. I would be making more of a racket if I were you. You deserve to be happy as well. I would not handle your situation well.
If SK told me to go EFF it would
It would be total WAR. Totally disengagement with SS. Including no cooking for him, cleaning, going anywhere or taking him any place. Not a penny of my money would go to SS. Separate your money. DH wasn’t this he gets this. Kid in bedroom at 9 pm. Internet off at 10
The problem is SS would not give a crap
if I Disengaged. He really only wants “daddy”. I don’t buy he anything or take him any place as he’s such a Ungrateful brat already. He does not care as daddy buys him and takes him wherever or whatever he wants.
hmmm,
maybe that's the answer then. Send both Daddy and SS off and out of your sight.
Come 9pm announce it's SM time. They can both go off to SS's room and play a board game , watch a movie (get the kid a tv for his room, consider it a gift of peace and quiet for yourself), twiddle their thumbs or WTF-ever...just out of your space.
It's Dad's 'break' for Dad and kid. Tell Dad to take his kid out for junk fast food and a movie one night and maybe another similar outing yet another evening. The dog and you can have a couple hours to recoup and relax.
When Daddy says kid can sense you're trying to get kid of him, you can say 'no, DH, I'm getting rid of both of you, this is your time together'.
SS already has a flat screen tv with a PS3 and
more DVDs and video games than any kid I know in his room. Does he ever watch it....nope. SS has no interest in going out to the movies or to do anything. He would rather stay home and drive me Effing nuts by running around screaming chasing the dogs.
Seriously, how do you
Seriously, how do you continue to live like this? It sounds like you are constantly irritated and stressed out. I get it, I was also. I left that nonsense before I went crazy. It hits a point you KNOW it won't change. So, either you stay and suck it up, or leave.
I'd put a TV/computer in my
I'd put a TV/computer in my bedroom and lock myself in there. Go to bed whenever I please with ear plugs.
This kid is not your problem.
Not a bad idea....
I have a small tv in my bedroom and could buy a cheap DVD player. Not perfect as I like to know what is going on downstairs when SS is over. Is he Wrestling the dog around my expensive china? DH is clueless and would let the brat Destroy the house without saying anything. Not that SS listens to me but if things get shady with SS I give DH the evil eye which he knows to get the brat under control.
Dog comes in the bedroom with
Dog comes in the bedroom with you. Done. Or the china goes away until the stepkid does.
You can't have it both ways - you can't control everything and not deal with the kid at the same time, it's one or the other.
why not just say "yes I am trying to get rid of him"
You really think the kid would tell you to 'eff off'? If this is his behavior why can't you be honest with your DH and say yes in fact I am trying to get rid of him, I can't stand being around him because of the way he behaves?! I do not understand why so many people spend so much time jumping through hoops to avoid just being direct. If this is the truth, just say it. If you can't, it's a you problem or a DH problem.
How old is this kid? Why is
How old is this kid? Why is he staying up until midnight? Geez...that would get old fast. I need some time to decompress.
Is it your house? Your stuff? Are you worried about leaving? I would just leave while SS was there if this was my life.
I get it, though. I used to really dread the skid long visitations over the break. We also took both weekends on either side for some effed up reason, so it ended up being 10-11 days. Barf.