Bloging From Hell
I wish their was an exchange a skid program lol. I like kids but not this one theirs just nothing to like.
My skid is 4 though she is very big for her age yet my 2yr old son is more advanced.
Don't get me wrong she isn't dumb but you would think she was. She will only use grunts and part words but when she has to she can suddenly say a full sentence. She knows how to use a toilet but is very lazy and has no problem with p*ssing and sh*ting herself as well as playing in it but will scream if she gets water on her.
She is very violent when she doesn't get her way and will wait to get revenge, I've caught her trying to gouge babys eyes with her fingers and my sister even had to jump in when she tried to attack my toddlers eyes with a fork. She bites and not a normal bite but all teeth threw the skin like shes trying to take a chunk of flesh out she will hit as hard as she can with metal objects to peoples heads and tried to suffocate my youngest with her fist down his throat. (I have learnt not to go to the toilet when she is around because its not safe) She is always dirty and not the normal kid dirty and ends up covered in sores (she drools and blows her snot over her face and hands) yes she can swallow and blow her nose she just wont if she can get away with it.
No adults except her bio family like her she is rude and disrespectful she will tell adults to shhh she will spit on them as well as anything else and her version of na which with the facial expression is her way of saying f*ck you.
I have been trying for nearly 2yrs to help her but with a BM who is so lazy her bathroom is covered in sh*t with no soap or shampoo in site and a father who is very lazy plus parents out of guilt I'm getting no wear.
SD is the most spoilt but neglected child Ive ever met if that makes sence shes given what she wants and gets away with everything because mum and dad cant be bothered so im left to clean up their mess.
Ive had big fights with her father and he says he will change and we will be a united front but it doesn't happen and I end up being the evil SM.
The skid hates me and the feeling is mutual now Its not like shes even close to cute she actually looks like chucky out of child's play and has no personality so she doesn't even have that going for her.
Adults that are still willing to come around when she is here will ask me to keep her away from them and even my doctor told me and her father that she would be better off in foster care if things don't change. Yet still no change her parents just think it will all fix itself oneday.
I hate the weekends we have her she destroys our stuff she chews everything and cries anytime she has to do something but her father constantly undermines me so she clings to him like sh*t on a sheeps a**.
The stupid thing is if I tell her she does it even though she hates me for it but if daddys around she cries and he does it for her.
I don't yell at her I don't say mean things to her yet he can yell at my kids and mutter things under his breath and fare enough when they are being naughty but if I did it to his princess id be picking on her. He all ready thinks I do because I tell him what needs to be done but if I don't do that our house gets destroyed. He doesn't seem to get the fact she has a year to be school ready and its not the teachers job to take her to the toilet or guess what she wants and do it all for her.
If I go out with my kids he sulks he expects us to wait till she is here yet its ok for her to do things with her BM. Ive taken my kids out a few times to get away from her and spend some one on one time with them and he acts like a hurt puppy.
Im over it but leaving isn't an option right now I live in a place with a housing shortage and with our 1st bio child on the way it makes me stay because id never let him have our bio child and SD on the same weekends shed end up killing my baby but if I leave then I cant make sure she isn't left alone with baby when he has her.
Im lost I hate this child I hate the conflict the little grot causes and I hate the fact that I actually feel this way.
Theirs not many people I can talk to about this and I don't like to bother people with my problems so I thought if I blog on here then I can rant and let it out without flooding other peoples posts with my problems.
Do you work for cyf?
Do you work for cyf?
The step child is trying to
The step child is trying to eat her baby and she's coming here for help?
She isn't left alone with my
She isn't left alone with my kids and wont try anything around an adult anymore Ive made sure of that though she now tells her dad other children have hurt her when its really her that has hurt them. From the moment I have caught her doing these things I put my foot down but she still gets other peoples children if given the chance. Her last kindy complained that the other children where scared of her but her new one she seems to be behaving. I still wouldn't trust her alone I don't believe the behavior has changed just she isn't given the opportunity and has learned she cant get away with it around me.
Her father is blind to most of it theirs always excuses for her behavior he thinks the suns shines out her butt and parents threw guilt and just laziness.
Ive thought of calling cyf myself but their are not a lot of good foster homes theirs no way I can take her on and as much as I don't like her I don't want to see her hurt and she is a very hard child to like so If shes placed with the wrong people I can see her being abused. Like I said adults who know her will not look after her or even want her near them so I cant see many strangers wanting a child like this in their home let alone care about her.
Hate to say it as much as her bio parents are useless and her BM is an unhygienic lazy cow at least they do love her and would never physically or verbally hurt her.
In my life time Ive seen cyf do way more harm to children than good.
When her fathers parents move back I think they will go threw the system and take her so at least she will still be with people who care about her.
She is a horrid mix of nature and nurture and all I can really do right now is protect my children and do the best I can till her grandparents move back. I do keep pix of what her mothers house is like and what she looks like when she arrives here so they will have some proof of the hygiene .
Honestly I just needed somewhere to vent to help get me through this where at least not everyone will see me as a monster.
Nothing you wrote about that
Nothing you wrote about that girl is normal. She needs help ASAP.
Why are you having a child with a man who refuses to parent the child he already has? What happens when the children's dad, his family and or children services finds out you're making the choice to have them in such a violent environment. Are you willing to risk losing your other kids?
I didn't plan this baby at
I didn't plan this baby at all I was on birth control at the time. I don't have my children alone with this child and yes my family and their father know what a nightmare she is and they also know how protective of my children I am and that shes only gotten to try this shit once with my kids in the early days when I didn't know what she was like and I cant stop her from harming other kids when she is not in my care. I told her grandparents behind her fathers back what was going on and they are moving back from Aussie and with the proof I have been gathering they will hopefully be able to take her from her BM and get her the help she needs as well as give her father a kick up the a**.
Im doing all I can in the mean time to get this child help it causes big fights but I still push knowing what needs to be done im also the one who makes her follow rules even though I can see her father resenting me for upsetting his princess and how much she loathes me for it.
Its a thankless job for a child I cant stand and I stupidly hoped I'd found somewhere I could let it out and get support but I guess their is no where for me to turn.
I'm sorry Ive bothered people on here it wasn't my intention to make people angry Ive just felt so alone
You're not bothering anyone
You're not bothering anyone one here. As both a mother and SM, I think parents should protect their kids at all cost and not worry about "fixing" their SKs.
You can't be more vested in SD's well being than her own father is.
If walking away was an option
If walking away was an option right now I would I'm not a saint I'm not doing all this out of the kindness of my heart as much as that might sound horrible. I do it so my kids stay safe I do it because Im not going to have her destroy our home and treat it like a toilet/dump and I do it because its embarrassing when people come over and comment on how she looks and acts.
Her father really is clueless it might sound odd but he is a good dad but he really sucks at being a parent. He would like custody but ive said im not having her here full time if he wants that he needs to quit his job and raise her because im not cleaning up their mess any more than I have too. Hes in denial which is why I think their are so many excuses, he doesn't want his daughter to be this kind of child but doesn't know how to cope with her so its easier for him to blame BM and anything else than admit his child isn't perfect and make her take some responsibility.
Even at 4 she knows how to play him very well and that is just part of her personality I think she will always have that nasty manipulative streak no mater what anyone does and if she sees she can play someone she will.
Im just glad she knows that shit wont work on me though she follows her father around like a bad smell now hoping daddy will protect her from mean me but it doesn't work i'll still tell her to go to the toilet or pick up her toys and when she tries the water works to get out of it I just tell her no and to hurry up and do what she has been told.
Ive also put my foot down so if she does things she knows shes not aloud I will put her in time out and ive told her father if I put her in time out then im the one to take her out and if she refuses to come out because she is waiting for daddy to save her then she will stay in time out.
She walks around like a beaten dog if dads their to see it but I don't care anymore I will not let a child control me and I wont kiss her a**. Like I said I don't yell at her I don't hurt her but I am firm I don't ask nicely like dad does because she will only say no then cry so I firmly tell her and if she refuses she goes in time out. Shes actually better behaved for me than anyone else but only because she knows I don't give a sh*t I don't love her so she cant manipulate me.
I just have to hang in their a bit longer till her grandparents can move back or I can find a house.
I think its affecting me more atm because im due in a few weeks
This kid is a toxic, nasty,
This kid is a toxic, nasty, germ infested bio hazard and has no business anywhere near your toddler or anyone else for that matter. Time to give your DH clarity that he either scrubs and disinfects her immediately when she arrives for visitation or there will be no visitation in your marital home.
WEB CAMS!!!! Make sure that you have her under camera surveillance 24/7 when she is in your home. Put a child monitor and motion sensors in her room so if she gets up in the middle of the night you know and can protect your toddler and baby. Her behavior and the danger she has historically been to your child puts her on the double secret probation, Web Cam, monitor surveillance list until you are absolutely confident that she is no longer a threat to your child's health and safety.
I understand that she is a 4yo but the health and safety risk she represents to your younger child and your STB baby cannot be ignored or go unaddressed.
IMHO of course.
By the way... welcome. I
By the way... welcome. I hope you find this to be a good place to vent, contribute and pick up some useful perspective from others who are living the blended family dream.
Yay shes gone and wont be
Yay shes gone and wont be back for another fortnight
I do scrub her down and constantly re clean her while shes here seem she likes to rub snot and spit all over her self. I also do my best to make sure she doesn't touch my kids toys and only her own. When she does touch theirs I take them away 1st chance I get and wash them. Might sound mean but she is a scabbie dirty little girl and even clean she looks dirty. I don't want me or my kids catching anything.
On the plus side she seems to be scared of me which sounds horrible but I think its because she is not used to anyone being firm with her seem she is ether ignored or treated like a baby, It works well for me because now I only have to look at her and point and she leaves stuff alone and goes away. I think she is getting the idea Im not going to put up with her sh*t Im not going to beg her or do something for her she will ether do as shes told or I will make her or put her in time out.
I think since I told her father a month ago I was leaving him if things didn't change it has made a difference. he still babys her if he gets the chance and hates me stepping in but he wont say anything or stop me and will back me up so she knows daddy wont save her now if im around.
I know it sounds mean but Im actually glad she doesn't like me or enjoy coming here its like a little bit of payback for the past year and a half of her destroying our stuff glaring at me and being a disgusting disrespectful little troll who has made sure I haven't enjoyed my home when she is here.
Its not a bad thing she has to learn at some point she can not control and manipulate everyone and the world does not revolve around her.
Also feeling a lot better now it has been made clear to my partners mum she will not be staying here for a few weeks when baby is born their isn't enough room and I don't want guests staying when ive just had a baby, big load off my shoulders because I know if she is here then when I get home from the hospital the sk will be here to and wont leave till mil does. Ive made it clear to my partner that sk will not be here im not running around after her when ive just had a baby I will be coming home to rest and get to know our baby.
Hes going to go see her and I said that's fine but she doesn't come here and if I come home and she is I will take our newborn and my kids and go.
I was so worried while I was in hospital that SD would be around my kids without me here so I feel like when its time I can go have baby without that extra stress.
Sounds like your worries are
Sounds like your worries are very real. This kid needs help. Sounds like she defintely has some type of mental illness. Her parent's are in denial and not getting her the help she needs is neglect. If they don't do something about, once she starts kindergarten, they'll prob be forced to. No teacher or school are going to let these things slide. And if they don't follow on their recommendations, the prospect of this kid being taken away are very real. The BP's need a wake up call.
Mental illness is what im
Mental illness is what im starting to think. Her 1st kindy told her father all the kids are scared of her but BM moved her and the new one makes everything sound like flowers. Shows the difference of a good kindy compared with one that's just into filling spaces for money. When she starts school which isn't far off really then I know they will step in because she is un teachable school wise atm something I point out to her father a lot. He has learning disability's just like my 9yr old does but its not even close to her behavior yet he keeps using that as an excuse and letting her off the hook coz he feels sorry for her. Their is a big difference in having trouble reading and writing than their is to showing a lot of psychopathic traits. She doesn't quit fit being a psychopath but its close. Its hard to say because she comes off as being very slow mentally but I think she is actually very smart. one because I have seen her do all the things she pretends she cant and two because she acts that way to manipulate the people around her so they will do things for her and so she doesn't get in trouble when she is naughty or cruel.
Ive actually had people tell me she seems evil and that's not from nutters I actually agree with them the way she gives certain looks when you know she wants to hurt you would be terrifying if she wer an adult.
Her grandparents will be back soon they are just getting housing sorted so hopefully they will do what needs to be done seem her bio parents are in denial.
If the grandparents don't then she will have to go into care
Hopefully the grandparents
They are in Australia atm but
They are in Australia atm but are moving back for this reason. I think at the start her nana will spoil her and make excuses but she will make sure she is clean and getting help. Granddad I can already tell is not happy that he has to come back and clean up his son and ex wifes mess he is only doing it for the child sake. He will also not put up with bullsh*t and will expect her to be raised to be a decent person in society.
I don't think they are happy that I wont take her but as Ive told them I have children of my own and Im not going to neglect them to focus all my time on her.
I only hope her father drops the idea of his parents just having her while hes at work because its not like he will come home and look after her and EOWE is enough for me I know I don't want the stress of seeing her everyday.