I should add that she is coming back to resume college in sept and has plans to attend one of the most expensive grad school in a city very pricey upon graduation. Only the best for snooky.

And the big question is who is paying for 4 months there? Her mother is a tight wad. I did say to dh that if he says nothing, these people will take that as meaning he approves, and then will send him the bill after the fact. It has been done before in court. If he voices his opinion, he will be back at square one.........I give advise him not to agree, but do it respectfully and not mention the money factor, but really emphasize that her safety could be threatened living there on her own.

You are right, and our finances are separate, to a degree. I don't get him wanting me to write the letters for him. I think it would be a very bad thing for me to write.....I did help him write the first letter and honestly I am angry with myself for doing it.
I think he will not say boo......his relationship with them has been avoidant, and when he does object, he is met with screaming and drama.
The girls have the emotional development of a flea. Whatever snooky wants.......provided it doesn't inconvenience the queen bee.
Can you believe that the crazy mother fought dh to keep oldest princess in fancy college when she failed every semester? She now owes 80 k in loans and has no degree to show for it? So you could say mother ruined her daughter financially and now this daughter could be at risk.

I think he needs to write a letter, kind, but clearly not supporting this dangerous idea. I spoke with a colleague today somewhat familiar with the Mideast, and he just kept shaking his head over this girl. He said she might get caught up in radicalism, or worse, kidnapped. Young foreign women are looked upon poorly if they are unescorted in these parts and even vulnerable to assaults by taxi drivers..
But I do not think my dh will say a word. He might write back, and talk about nonsense.
I again ask myself what is wrong with me for getting caught up in this? Am I a drama seeker myself? I just see this as such a red flag and I have never had the ability to bite my tongue. Lol just ask my own kids..
My friends say be thankful she is not sitting at my home this summer! Although I do not wish contact with her, I clearly see her as in a dangerous place, with a lunatic bitch mother driving the ship..

Yes, I love the serenity prayer! And a large glass of wine helps as well.
Seriously, regarding the grad school, you know that emancipation is court ordered, and usually after college graduation. However, why won't they make the argument for grad school. Dh has a line that he attributes to his high class ex.....if you don't ask, you don't get......get it?? Lol
So.....I should be glad this witch is staying there.....hell, if she stays in sept, we can get her emancipated then!
But yes......the indifference. My dh is clearly indifferent. He says he will write a letter......that was a week ago.. He says he is busy, ok, yes, maybe..
His daughter says he no longer cares about her. I think she and her pack pushed him there, but yes he is there. He is indifferent. If you beat someone up enough times I think that is what you get. Quite honestly, I would have rage, but everyone is different.
Can the indifference be reversed?

Yes you are right.. I would be so angry with myself if she returns and becomes daddy's wife again.
The whole marriage they have been estranged.......it would be a stressor for our marriage if she were to return. The year they were speaking I never met with her, but there were issues.

I just heard about the three american doctors killed in afg. (She is not there)
My first thought was to share with dh.
The second was to keep my mouth shut. Apathy!!!

I like it! Now if I could get the the ex and the rest of the offspring to move there along with the daughter. I will gladly get them all first classes airline tickets, provided they are one way. Bon voyage!