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SS spoiled too much?

vidar's picture

Submitted by vidar on Sun, 01/12/2014 - 1:51pm

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Step/Bio Father's Den

So, I don't post much here, I haven't been here in a long time. I married my lovely wife who has 5 kids. I have none of my own...instant daddy. There are a total of 3 BFs amonst the kids. The 3 youngest have one and then the other two each have a BF.

The oldests BF is a deadbeat who has been criminally active since, well, forever. He has run to the other side of the country and wants his BS to come with him to help him in his "business"...his BS is 18 but doesn't want to go as he just got out of rehab 6 months ago. That aside...

The next one, his BF makes REALLY GOOD money. SS lived with him for a few years as there were issues between him and his older brother in the house as well as school issues. Now that he's back he's somewhat resentful that he is back. His school is much better now though. For Xmas, with 5 kids, we can't get them LOTS of stuff let alone big-ticket items. Well, his BF sure did...he got a PS4, 10" Tablet, Laptop and has been told he will be getting a Cellphone soon enough.

Of course this makes us look like cheapskates and he has thoughts of going back to his dads (who is now expecting another kid with his wife).

He's pushing boundaries quite a bit these days now and it's frustrating the hell out of me. I'm not sure how to deal with a hormonal teenager...

He sure did trigger me today...enough that I had to post!

This is more of a vent than anything...

Orange County Ca's picture

Submitted by Orange County Ca on Sun, 01/12/2014 - 1:57pm

The 4th husband of a woman with 5 children. What could go wrong?

vidar's picture

Submitted by vidar on Sun, 01/12/2014 - 2:04pm

Thanks for the helpful, insightful and factually incorrect response....THIS is why I avoided this place and why I'll likely leave again...

Orange County Ca's picture

Submitted by Orange County Ca on Sun, 01/12/2014 - 2:31pm

Did I lose count? I should probably take off my socks and use my toes.

I do remember your first posting about your new family and your new wife telling you to let go of some issue(s) and all the responses from members here gave you the same advise and you disappeared.

Well we're not here to validate your activities so if you don't want to hear our opinions then it is best you stay away as surely few punches are pulled.

Follow this link to get some unbiased advise which I think you will find useful and no its not written by me nor is it sarcastic. It's serious advise which many people have read and put into use to their great satisfaction. It's also a step-parent web site and perhaps you'll find it more to your liking:

http://steptogether.org/disengaging.html

mannin's picture

Submitted by mannin on Sun, 01/12/2014 - 5:58pm

You should demand and expect respect from your SS and your wife should enforce this also. However, you have no control over what SS's father buys him and so on. It's really none of your business either - he's not your kid. If he wants to move back to his father's, make it clear to the father and the SS that it is permanent. Once he moves out, he cannot move back in. Period.

I have a SS who is 7. My DH and I have already discussed that if SS ever moves out to live with BM, he's there permanently - he can't move back in with us when BM ticks him off.