Is this neglect?
SD7 has had bladder issues for three years. BM finally took her to urologist and found out that the child has something wrong with her bladder sphincter, she can't feel/control when she has to go. BM was supposed to purchase a watch to remind her to go to the bathroom every two hours so the sphincter would work again. She refused to buy the watch and when SD came down this weekend she wet herself 6 times and there is an offensive fish like odor coming from her genital area. She wets herself all the time at home and BM never makes her change. She doesn't seem to care that she could get sick from UTIs and shows no concern for the smell she gives off. When confronted, BM claimed that it only happens at her here even though she comes down with urine soaked clothes every time. Is this a case of neglect? BM never made follow appointment with the urologist, doesn't enforce personal hygiene on SD and tells her teachers that they have to remind her to go to the bathroom.
If it were reported it would
If it were reported it would be put in the system as allegations of medical neglect. Depending on your state and how they now handle referrals, it could be screened out or it could be accepted as a low priority referral and assigned out to be investigated within a weeks time. If I was the worker I would consider it neglect and ask the mother to follow thru with the doctor's recommendations, but that is all it would be at that point, a request. But, sometimes, with mothers like this, that is all it takes. A CPS worker knocking on their door and snooping into their business does tend to motivate those that are normally lazy and unwilling to do what should be done. If not, then it becomes a bigger issue and she will have to deal with the consequences.
sounds like it to me. poor
sounds like it to me.
poor kiddo
Sounds like neglect on the
Sounds like neglect on the part of BOTH parents.
Ok so I left something out.
Ok so I left something out. We actually paid for her to order the watch but she claimed it was "back ordered" of course now that we are asking her about it, it is magically going to appear on Wednesday. BM doesn't want her to use the watch at her house though because she can just tell her to go the bathroom. She only wants the SD to use the watch when she's here but that's only 4 days a month.
Back order, my ass. You can
Back order, my ass. You can get a watch at wal-mart for $3.00 And take her to the ER? I bet she's on Medicaid, because there's no way in hell YOU PEOPLE are going to PAY for a $1,000 ER visit, but not a $3.00 watch. You are pathetic. And all 3 of you are guilty of neglect!
Her mother isn't reminding
Her mother isn't reminding her and she is getting constant yeast infections and UTIS from sitting in dirty underwear all day. Every time she comes down here she gives off an offensive odor of fish. Her bladder cannot get better unless she is reminded regularly to go the bathroom. The sphincter that is damaged needs to be retrained so she actually feel when she has to go again. She is still wetting herself constantly so the mother isn't doing what she is supposed to and Dr verified that she refuses to make a follow up appointment for her.
It honestly doesn't matter if
It honestly doesn't matter if the watch comes in or not. If her mother won't maker her wear it at her house the problem isn't going to get better. The child has no concept of her physical health because she has lived in her wet urine soaked pants all day and night at home and at school. The only time she is clean is when she is here. I think she is so used to the smell that comes off of herself, she doesn't notice it anymore. We are taking her to the ER next time she is down if she still smells offensive. I'm concerned as to why her mother thinks this is fine and why she took the money we gave her for the watch and bought something else.
Take her to the ER. Really.
Take her to the ER. Really. On my tax dollars I suppose. You really piss me off. You are a moron and shouldn't even be around children.
Honestly? I would take her to
Honestly? I would take her to a psychiatrist or call CPS - or both. Not trying to nose around here... but this is just my 2 cents.
Bladder control issues *generally* can't be positively diagnosed - meaning that the doctor is likely just making an educated guess about what's going on. Unless it's very severe where they can catch a spasm or something, I bet that's the case.
A seven year old who is constantly wetting herself... getting UTIs and yeast infections... and doesn't seem to care about being wet, etc.
Is it possible that someone is sexually abusing her? Is it possible that she is in an unfit environment and wetting herself to cope?
All I am saying is that it doesn't seem right - at all. I would check into it.
I still wonder why Dad didn't
I still wonder why Dad didn't just order it himself. Seriously - he could order it and have it delivered to Mom's. Or to his and give it to kiddo/have her learn how to use it. At 7, she is really old enough to invest in the process herself. But Dad also needs to step up to to the plate.
It is being delivered to
It is being delivered to Mom's but she doesn't want the child to wear it and she has told the child she doesn't have to. And yes she can wear it down her but she is only here 4 days a month so it really won't make a difference.
That has been my assumption
That has been my assumption for awhile, she also exhibits other signs of sexual abuse: (touching other people inappropriately, making sexually suggestive movements with her body etc. Her bladder sphincter ended up like that because she was constantly holding her urine. She had an ultrasound for her bladder and like I said was supposed to have another one but the BM won't take her back. My husband is willing to talk to her Dr but he has is nervous about filing a sexual abuse complaint because that is a serious allegation. But on the other hand the only time she does what she is supposed to for the kids is when he threatens court. I just want this all to stop, having to constantly check her, being embarrassed by her smell etc.
"That has been my assumption
"That has been my assumption for awhile"
You have had assumptions and suspicions, in addition to the enuresis/uti issues, for a while that she is being sexually abused and you have not called CPS? You best not tell them that when someone else calls it in, or you will have a confirmation of failure to protect on your hands, which, in the CPS system, makes you a perpetrator as well and you will be viewed as being just as guilty as her BM. You said your husband is nervous about reporting possible sexual abuse because it is a serious allegation, and that is very correct, it is. But, is it worth the risk of not calling in with your concerns and it actually being real and valid and happening to her? If it is not happening, that will be determined in the investigation, but at least it was checked out. Failing to report is just as serious as the allegation in the eyes of the investigator, just so you know.
And in reply to Echo we would
And in reply to Echo we would be taking her to the ER for not just a urine smell but an obvious untreated yeast/uti smell.
Ever heard of a pediatrician?
Ever heard of a pediatrician? How about a primary care physician? ER, that'll be a thousand dollar visit. I got news for you-ER staff HATE people like you. ER's are for emergencies.
She has an odor of rotten
She has an odor of rotten fish coming from her genital area and I have told her if she doesn't keep herself clean, she could get very sick. But she won't listen to me because her mother tells her that I am wrong about everything.
If they only get her on the
If they only get her on the weekends and do not live in area that has urgent cares or even Dr offices that have Sat hours the ER is the only place to go you moron.
Both parents need to be going
Both parents need to be going to the Dr apts with this child. Put their issues a side for a moment. A 7 year old girl without bladder control is going to be teased at school. They, as her parents need to make a joint effort to get this addressed before it becomes psychologically damaging to her. Together they can come up with a treatment plan for their daughter. No blame, just results. 100% focus on the child and none on Mommy and Daddy issues. She won't listen to you because her mom tells her everything you say is wrong? Be part of the solution, not the problem. The girl has an issue and can't keep herself clean. There are bigger issues here than pee pee. Poor kid