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ChI'll neglect?

Eb523's picture

My SD4 recently went to the doctor. The doctor told us she dropped over 10% on the weight to 3% in one year. He suggested switching to vitamin d milk, Flintstone vitamins, and a nutritional Shake once a day. We discussed this with bio mom who gets her only every other weekend. We even supplied her with a nutritional Shake for that weekend. When SD4 came home she told us her mom didn't give her the Shake because she didn't have milk. We asked her mom and she confirmed this. She also confirmed that SD4 didn't have any vitamins or vitamin d milk the whole weekend. When we picked her up at 6pm, she has only had one pop tart and some popcorn as a snack. Since the Dr's orders are to try to get her to gain weight and we have supplied all the info and even the Shake, is this neglectful behavior? And what can we do about it?

clark6292's picture

Document it! If it continues, it is neglect because it was doctor ordered. When toddlers and little people lose weight it is cause for concern and considered a failure to thrive if/when they drop too low. It can indicate certain illnesses like juvenile diabetes - but these kids are usually really sick (have other symptoms.) It is probably a "phase" but time will tell. Since Mom only has child every other weekend, she can flip that onto you guys. It is really important to keep a notebook and document everything! I also highly recommend ice cream Biggrin

twoviewpoints's picture

OP has stated two different things.

First " He [dr] suggested switching to vitamin d milk, Flintstone vitamins, and a nutritional Shake once a day."

Then began calling what dr suggested as "dr orders".

There's an obvious leap between suggesting Dad give child a kiddie vitamin a day along with whole milk and a shake and reporting child abuse for failing to follow a physician's orders.

BethAnne's picture

Why are you worrying about orders or suggestions when there are strong indications that this child is being starved on the weekends she is with her mother? That is where the abuse lies.

twoviewpoints's picture

If I believed there were a shortage of actual food for the child to eat at Mom's, I'd discuss with BM my concern. If it is a money thing, I'd supply a sack of groceries with a jug of milk when I delivered the child if Mom was willing. I'd also be sure I handed BM contact sources so BM could reach out to a local food pantry for Mom herself.

Without having custody (more time than two 48hr spans a month), BM may not have access to food stamps.

Eb523's picture

We have supplied her with vitamins and the Shake powder and she refuses to give her those already. It's definitely not a money problem either. Which is one of many reasons why this is frustrating to me. She has the ability to do all of these things but chooses not to. We're going to start providing milk for the weekend and ask her to start documenting her meals, which I'm sure she won't but at least maybe she'll start feeding her mom if she knows we are going to start a nutritional journal. Since we're going to court right now.

BethAnne's picture

If you can get cps to her house they should check the kitchen to see if there is any food there. I don't know if cps will go for reports of lack of food but it could be worth a try if that is her usual food intake at weekends. Right now I would not really be concerned about the shakes specifically but the lack of food in general is very worrying, especially combined with the weight loss. Do you suspect that is the reason for your sd's weight loss? Or did the doctor suggest a medical reason?

Eb523's picture

I definitely wasn't going to junk food Binge her lol. We don't ever have ice cream in the house, so I was thinking maybe for a snack on occasion.

Eb523's picture

I definitely wasn't going to junk food Binge her lol. We don't ever have ice cream in the house, so I was thinking maybe for a snack on occasion.

Eb523's picture

I definitely wasn't going to junk food Binge her lol. We don't ever have ice cream in the house, so I was thinking maybe for a snack on occasion.

Rags's picture

Definately document this and use it when the time is right to get the most advantage out of it in court.

As for neglect.... I am not sure this meets the standard of neglect. A lawyer would be able to tell you.

In my SKid's case.... we used to send him to SpermLand visitation groomed, clean, and healthy. They would send him home at the end of visitation smelling like a septic worker, with half inch long finger and toe nails, in soiled under clothes, with black sludge under his arm pits, backs of his knees, in his crotch, behind his ears, and around his neck. He would have diaper rash so bad his anus would bleed when we cleaned him up and he had butt rash so bad his butt cheeks had red puss filled welts all over.

I suppose neglect is one of those "you know it when you see it" things.

Good luck.