The Drama continues......
The drama continues.....I have three SD's. SD25 has been fairly close to me for the last couple of years. She has been venting to me about how she feels about her dad and her 1/2Sister very vocally going so far as to encourage me to Divorce their Dad because of the bullshit that DH and SD15 put me through. Now the tables are turned and she hates me and has refused to come to our home for Christmas w/ the grandchild. She is now buddies with the SD15 (her 1/2 Sister) and they are both making my life hell. SD15 spends every waking moment up DH's ass and it drives us all crazy!!! Now I have to pack up my family and march over to the Mom-in-laws to spend christmas with a bunch of drama filled hateful people, that will make us feel uncomfortable and unwelcome!!! When is enough enough????
It doesn't matter what I say or what I do I'm the problem and I'm the liar!!! I have a whole years worth of Facewbook chat with the SD25 that would show her Dad just how mean, rude and hateful she is toward him and the SD15....(I need a court orderto get it)!!!! I've threatened to get that court order just to prove to him what a piece of work he's got and that I'm not the person he needs to be blaming!!! But I honestly feel that even in black and white written dialoge he would still find a way to put this on me!!!
Disgusted!!!!!
Yeah, unless you are SURE
Yeah, unless you are SURE your DH is going to be supportive and give the appropriate response to SD25 for what she's said about you on Facebook, I wouldn't bother. SD18 (then about 14) posted all sorts of hateful things about me on Facebook, even saying she would call me a c*&t but that word was too good for me. I found all this, printed it out and literally handed it to DH. The result? He "talked to" SD about it, and I never got an acknowledgment, an apology, nothing.
Then dont go. I dont know
Then dont go.
I dont know what your relationship is like with your MIL, however you can make your excuses and say you arent feeling very well at all and unfortunately have to stay home. If she is sympathetic, just explain you would love to come however as things are the situation would be uncomfortable to say the least and you dont want to spoil her xmas.
I would refuse to be around people who were harassing and abusing me, I dont care who they are. Besides you know DH isnt going to have your back, in fact it sounds like you cant trust him either when it comes to his children and their behaviour towards you - trust works two ways and if my DH took the word of my skid over mine I think out relationship would be in serious trouble (this has happened to me and I went ape shit, I didnt let it drop and pointed out if DH didnt trust me then why the frig did he marry me? Telling me he didnt say x, is calling me a liar and that is not something I will condone from anyone).
If DH already has an attitude with you when it comes to his kids and blames you for everything (along with skids), WHY OH WHY are you continually putting yourself in the position for them to make you even more miserable and abuse you? You have said yourself, whatever you do isnt good enough - so why bother at all? Why dont you just please yourself? You arent exactly going to be worse off because you already get blamed for nothing! Lets be honest, sounds dreadful they are pursuing you via FB but face to face when you have enabling family members around them - ones who will betray you i.e DH - they will be a whole lot worse and DH will hold their hand and help them do it! I wouldnt care how much he pitched a fit over my backing out of things - better that than have to endure the humiliation, misery and anxiety of being bullied and degraded by these people on a day when you should be loving, happy and celebrating. You have the control over how much to put up with from them all. YOU are the one who is responsible for your own happiness. Being married with stepkids doesnt mean lying down and being abused, and if you are already getting abuse from them then in all seriousness you have nothing more to lose. They flame you anyway, and by not going may pee people off however at least you wont have to put up with any of their attitude.
Personally I would let DH do what he wanted - I wouldnt want him home, sulking and punishing me for missing out. He has a choice, just as you do and I would be plumping for peace, curling up on the settee and doing/eating/drinking what you want or spending it with *true* family and friends!
Yes-what others have said. I
Yes-what others have said. I would not go to my inlaws for the holidays-in fact I do not go MY inlaws for the holidays for the same reason you dont want to go to yours. That no matter what actually occurs-they all think I am the root of all evil. Who wants to be around people that think poorly of you? Why waste even a minute of your life like that?
As far as your skids-frankly I'd stop interacting with them. Do not give them an opportuntity to be mean and hateful to you.
My dh has also engaged in the blame game-I gotta give him credit he always fell short of actually accusing me of anything but for along time he'd come to me with these questions, "Did I yell at ss alot when he wasnt around? Call him names? Ignore him?" To him there had to be a reason my ss hated me-and well, it couldnt be related to ss at all as he was just a kid and he could not be blamed for just be hateful and rotten. I think it must be a difficult place to be-my dh has always had a problem admitting that his son is messed up-although I do know in his heart he knows its true because from time to time he will admit it-but even today he will look to hold me responsible for any sort of conflict because evidently I am all powerful and responsible for ALL things.