Reopening the CS debate
I know this is an ongoing discussion. Tell me what you think.
SD15 is going to live with BM, after living with us for four years with NO CS from BM. As soon as this became a possibility, BM filed for CS. In meeting with lawyers, BM said she doesn't need CS from my husband. (OK, then so why did she file?) Instead, she wants husband to pay for other of SD's expenses (such as car insurance, activity fees).
Our lawyer says to give BM incentive to sign off on the custody arrangement, we need to offer her an amount equivalent to the CS that would be ordered by the court, as well as 62 percent of SD's insurance amount and 62 percent of SD's activity fees. This will add to more than $500 a month. My brother makes MUCH more than my husband and has four kids to support and only pays $1,000, so $500 seems high. Part of the problem is that BM doesn't work, so her imputed income was very low.
Anyone have any experience with this? I think we should offer EITHER an amount equivalent to CS or the amount she is asking for the sports and activities, not both.
lawyer
"Our lawyer." Are you sure this guy is representing you? Offer the amount of what the law says and nothing more. If you do give in to their demands make sure that you get the child deduction on your taxes. The attorneys only want your money and they don't want to go to court. Sounds like you are paying him to represent her. Remember when you walk out the door you are paying the bills not the attorney. I would take my chances at the court house and fire the attorney.
I think it depends on the state
But I agree with Sparky. Why would the attorney want you to do more thatn what is appropriate? Maybe he thinks that bm or a judge will want less? I don't get that.
If you and DH and Bm are okay with you covering insurance and activities, why not just do that?
Hmmmm. I think I might get a different attorney.
Georgie
The lawyer says
That if this goes to court we would be ordered to pay CS and might also be ordered to pay the percentage of car insurance and activities on top of that. So the idea is to prevent us from having to go to court. But I don't see offering BM everything she might get in going to court. I want something that's reasonable, but it's hard to see what that is when BM hasn't paid anything. And no, unfortunately, we can't get back CS. I already checked, believe me. I agree Georgie, we should just pay what DH and BM are OK with. Problem is, BM is not reasonable and is already backing out on what was agreed on with the lawyers. So our lawyer is trying to forestall a costly court battle. We'll see...
elizabeth
even if BM were reasonable and could agree to less, i dont think its worth it bc at any time she could turn around, take u guys back to court and go for more. this is what happened w us. when they split up, they both agreed on a reasonable amount that FH could afford. until i moved in and she got a bug up her ass. knowing she couldnt go for an increase for another 2 yrs, she manufactured phony abuse claims to get the whole thing taken back to court when CS wasnt even a debate...it was cut and dry that FH had to pay the maximum. we are financially suffering now but knowing she cant do anything else to us to go for more is kind of a relief.
as far as car insurance and activities...i dont think u can be ordered to pay for part of that. that should be included and if this lawyer is really working for u, he needs to make sure that doesnt happen in court. sounds like he just wants easy money w/o having to work on the case.
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin