Ugh well they finally left, after 8 days, most of which I have been completely confined to the house. Mil and I did have a conversation finally yesterday morning and "made up" in a sense... I aired my grievances - she was so reluctant to admit a single wrongdoing on her part or really accept that my feelings have any validity, and I did apologize for the way our relationship had deteriorated and for her feeling uncomfortable about it. She finally apologized eventually though for assuming she could take my kids and the car midweek without even running it past me or informing me where she wanted to go or when. That I guess felt like a small victory. We got along much better over the past 48 hours.

Fil couldn't resist making small snide remarks at me today and yesterday, like a sarcastic, "can we borrow your car?" After I already told them specifically they could, yesterday afternoon.
And DH wrote me an email midweek saying he "had my back" but wanted to "make sure we didn't jeopardiaze the grandkids' relationships" with his folks. That sounded supportive but in practice he actually meant, "honey just be nice to them no matter what." So his actions never conveyed anything but that he was looking out for them. I think no matter what he knows he can't have them out here for 8 days again, and I asked him to take a couple days off work when they come so it's not just me entertaining and hanging out with them.

The weird thing now is that SD has been crying on/off and sulking since 11 am this morning when MIL started packing her bags. Their flight was at 530 pm. So she went with DH to take them to the airport and has been crying and making comments about how sad she is and how the "rainstorm came for her" when they dropped mil off... she's been known to cry about this for days in the past when mil leaves. One time mil and SD cried for a good 45 minutes at the airport, with mil following us almost all the way thru security crying and bawling and saying "I'll miss you so much!" To SD practically until we got to the gates. So of course SD cried the whole time then too. I find this really odd, and kind of unhealthy.

Mostly I guess I find it annoying. SD told me earlier when we were talking about making race signs for my sister whose triathlon were going to tomorrow, "good, you'll need to find something to distract me with after nanny leaves because I'll be so sad" and I said "I think you'll survive." The pity party attempts continued during the time we were coloring and she said she couldn't eat anything but cereal for dinner, and finally I said to her, "this isn't something you need to fall apart over, nanny is someone you love and miss and that's a good thing, there will be much worse types of sadness in life..." and DH did NOT like this. Now he's giving her lots of extra attention and coddling her and is reading to her upstairs, while she sits sulking.

What do you think of this? I guess I feel like if he doesn't agree with me saying that okay maybe he could've said something else productive to her in the moment, without blatantly making it seem like I am this cold unsupportive witch. It almost seems like he nurtured this weird thing where SD falls apart when his mom leaves, I guess because he loves that mil is so needed? I don't relate because I don't want my child to sob uncontrollably at my absence or over missing their grandparents... this isn't sickness or death.

But I'm also feeling especially like an outsider in my family right now, though, so DH encouraging this mourning period (of someone who basically dislikes me and shows me no respect) is maybe rubbing me the wrong way.
Anyway I think next week I'm scheduling a therapy appointment for couples counseling or individual. Our marriage feels like crap lately. Hope others are having a better weekend.