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Feeling very excuded

overworkedmom's picture

I really might just flip the hell out if SS says "me and my dad are going to do _____. Overworked you can just go somewhere else" one more time! Can this kid possibly be any more rude. My bios never try to break apart the family and my BS is the exact same age as SS. I just don't get it!!

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Anon2009's picture

Boys need time to do guy stuff with their dads. Your ss is one of them. Does he see dh a lot, or less than your bios? But your dh needs to do something about him asking you/telling you to go elsewhere. THAT is rude and uncalled for.

Also, your bios may love dh and ss. That's their choice. Dh might love them too, but ss doesn't have to love or like them. That's his choice. You can't force people on each other. Now if he's being mean to them, that has to be nipped in the bud. Shoot for having peaceful coexistence because it sounds like you're trying to have one big happy family. I apologize if that's not true, but warn you that having one big happy family with ss may never happen.

overworkedmom's picture

We have 100% custody of Ss . He is just a mean little shit who has an extremely unhealthy attachment to his dad!

step off already's picture

I tees free and this topic makes me crazy as SS13 will constantly ask "just me and you dad?" or "when can we spend some alone time together". Both are courtesy of BM.

DH and I just sat down with SS's new counselor in advance of his first appointment. After laying everything out for her, one thing she mentioned is that in blended families, it's helpful for the kids if their bio parent spends a few minutes a day with their child - doing a chore, chit chatting, etc. and asked if DH did that. DH said, "sure, I'll ask him to help me with things". I also chimed in that DH tucks SS13 in every night and always spends a few minutes talking to him during that time.

The counselor said that that was perfect. (she's actually a psychologist / MD).