DECORATE YOUR PRISON CELL
My new therapist says that I have two choices: accept reality and change my attitude about it, or leave. Then he brought up Martha Stuart and how when she went to prison she taught other prisoners how to knit and crochet, decorated her cell really nice etc. Basically he was like, "SHICHI, ENOUGH ALREADY, THESE ARE THE FACTS. HE HAS THESE KIDS YOU DISLIKE, THEY AREN'T GOING AWAY, THIS IS THE FINANCIAL SITUATION, THESE ARE HIS OBLIGATIONS....ETC. ACCEPT AND CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE ABOUT THINGS OR LEAVE."
So I guess spinning my wheels, pretending it will be different, wishing things away, complaining. and blogging every day, no matter how gratifying, isn't going to change a DAMN thing.
Time to decorate my cell or try and break out of jail, so to speak.
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Your therapist is spot
Your therapist is spot on.
This guy has called your daughter a wh8re, am I correct? He's not worthy of you. Anyone who called any minor that in front of me would get their chin done in (by me). I'd probably land in jail but oh well.
His kids are jerks? They learned from the best- dear old dad!
"So I guess spinning my
"So I guess spinning my wheels, pretending it will be different, wishing things away, complaining. and blogging every day, no matter how gratifying, isn't going to change a DAMN thing."
I am with you on this one. I've been doing the SAME THING for 10 years. Hoping, pretending... I am breaking out and THEN redecorating!
So? What is it that you will
So? What is it that you will be doing?
I even get tired of hearing
I even get tired of hearing myself complain.
I noticed as I was reading
I noticed as I was reading someone else's blog....who complains about THE SAME CRAPPY SITUATION EVERY DAY, that this is a joke. I don't want to be on here next year complaining about the same stupid things. I mean, they aren't stupid at all, many situations are harmful, abusive, dangerous, awful etc. BUT....its stupid to stay in these situations, for some people.
You paint a prison cell because you cannot leave, but we can!
Easier said then done. When
Easier said then done. When I think of how hurt I have been, and how much we have been through and then I think how much I have left to go. But it's not easy getting up and going. Because for me anyway I love my DH, he is not perfect, he can be annoying but I love him, and when our times are good they are really good. But when they are good it's because I am so disconnected from SS13, but then something happens that brings me back to reality and back to the hell I am currently in.
Well, you can thank Tod, my
Well, you can thank Tod, my very sweet therapist. At first the idea made me angry, you know, because I don't like accepting reality. And I have a few people in my life who will play the charade game with me. Like let's pretend things are going to be different. Sometimes its almost as if I like holding on to the anger somehow. Like I have a badge of bitterness that I am SO USED TO carrying I don't even no how to live without it. I don't know what its like not to be semi-miserable lately.
Pathetic huh?
In my case, it wasn't my DH
In my case, it wasn't my DH or skids that made things miserable. We were lucky enough to be able to tough it out (with the help of a No Contact order!) dealing with BM's craziness.
Now, both skids are over 18 and PASed so our ordeal (or MINE at least!) is almost over. It definitely hurts my hubby though to have fought so much to be a part of their lives and then this is what our reality is.
And one thing that I did NOT expect was for it to take 10+ years before WE focused on fixing our OWN issues. Every marriage has its issues to work on. We were so busy dealing with skids, my son and BM's mental illnesses that we didn't have time to focus on US as much as we should have. Luckily enough, it didn't do us in.
I agree with the
I agree with the therapist...Piss or get off the pot!
I think you need to leave, but it is not my marriage. I was in hell my first year with DH and I fought every step of the way. My threat to leave, is what finally made his ass wake up. I looked at him and told him that I was done and he only had himself to blame for another divorce. He can tell everyone who would listen that his ex left him, but this time I was doing the same thing and it was because he was letting his ex and SD treat me like crap...I yell louder and talk more so I would make sure everyone knew that this was on him and he was the failure at being divorced two times...
He woke up shortly after that big argument and stopped pushing for us to be a happy blended family and accept that his daughter was never going to accept me...She had left a few months earlier to live with BM. Things got better, he is much better now...So am I. But, it was hell getting here and you seem to be in such denial about what is going on.