Hi, I,m new to this. I,ve been married for 23 years and I brought 2 children to the marriage, my husband has a daughter and we have 1 child together. As most of you know the struggle of being a step-parent is very real. I kept my mouth closed for the first 20 years, when it came to his daughter. She is the only child that didn’t live with us. So I know it was hard for her also, when things weren’t good with her mom and us, we never said anything to her. Always tried to keep it positive. She is an only child on her moms side, so was hard for her sharing or understanding why we had so many rules and she wasn’t first all the time, since there were 4 children at our house. We never missed a weekend , took her on any vacation we went on, bought her a car when she was 16; tried to keep everything the same. She is now 26, about 3 years ago she asked for money for college she needed it right away , we told her she could borrow it. We don’t have the money to pay for their college. But we wanted to make sure she didn’t miss out on her class, we told her no hurry to pay back whenever she could. Her response was she couldn’t believe a parent would treat their kid this way, she will never treat her children this way. How could her dad do this to her? The message went on and on, very hurtful to my husband and he didn’t say anything back. I kept my mouth shut for so long but couldn’t believe at 23 years old she would talk like this to someone especially when we let her borrow the money she needed. In a very nice way messaged her that it hurt her dad and we try to keep everything equal between all the kids, we didn’t pay for the others college either. She never responded back. Our relationshiped stayed strained until she was ready to graduate from college and messaged her dad and said there wasn’t enough tickets for me to go, which we found out was a lie. When confronted she acted like it was all our fault and didn’t want any of us to come. I messaged her begging to let her dad go even if she didnt want me there. She told me to leave her alone and messaged her dad and told him off again. We both then did get to go, but very uncomfortable situation. She lives about 1 hour from us, we see her about 1-2 times a year, Xmas usually. She is getting married in 4 months and we are supposed to Pay for the entire wedding. My husband agreed , we don’t know how much or anything about th wedding. I’m don’t think we should pay for it all. We don’t have a relationship with her and her boyfriend of 7 years won’t even friend us on Facebook, but we are paying for the wedding. My husband says having a little relationship is better then no relationship. But I’m not sure this is a good relationship, I feel like we are only a bank when she needs it. Am I crazy? She hates me and honestly I’m not crazy about her, especially how she has treated my husband and myself. But my husband insist on doing whatever she wants the 1 1-2 times a year she has connect with him. I told him we are paying for a portion of it, same as we did for the other children. He says no we are paying for it all.