SS12 messed up! (I'm laughing!)
So this summer dh was contemplating giving ss12 an extra phone he had. (this is not a phone blog. I know people have mixed feelings about that.) SS has had a phone since 3rd or 4th grade because his mom wanted him to have one. 'She' pays the service and everything. Last year dh got him a new one because the one ss had was in really bad condition and the phone was his Christmas gift. So anyway we have an extra phone that ss has asked for. I told dh not to giveit to him because the kid loses or breaks his phones, dh just got him a new one last year, this is a more expensive phone & might get stolen and just ss is unappreciative and a spoiled brat. But I said it was his decision. He decided to give it to him & I kept mymouth shut. Just toldhim to do what he wants. So Friday at pickup dh tells ss he will prob give him the phone this weekend. Ss walked on our door friendly to everyone, acting nice and playing well with the kids. It was so obvious that it was because he was going to get what e wanted. Well last night dh took ss and our bs out for the day. When they walked in ss was obviously mad. Apparently ss kept fighting with bs (almost 4). Dh kept telling him to stop but he wouldn't. Dh told him he needed to learn to get along with his little brother but ss kept picking. Dh got tired of ss attitude & told him that he may not get the phone if his attitude doesn't change. (the attitude is constant, not just this one incident.) SS says "I don't care. Don't give it to me." And that was his mistake!! That made dh mad and he said "fine. I won't." And dh didn't! I'm just proud that dh actually did something he said he would and handled the situation all on his own. I mean just last week they were talking about his attitude. Dh asked ss what his mom does to him when he acts up. Ss told him what she does then tells dh "but you're different. I know you won't do anything." Well, dh did something this time! Dh is on his way to take ss back home and I know ss still thinks he's going to get it but I have the phone right here! I'm sure there will be tears on this drive home. Dh was even going to give it to him if ss attitude was different today. Nope. Still picking on his brother and still with the attitude. And I am proud to say I stayed out of it all!! I wasn't there when most of it happened but I also did not interfere. Thank goodness we have a 2week break now!
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Comments
He crazy thing is that even
He crazy thing is that even after that comment dh still wanted to give him the phone!! Luckily he didn't. Dh is constantly fighting the Disney dad urge. Yea for him today though! And yes, I can kick back and laugh in my head. Ad I DID tell dh to do what he wanted and not to come crying to me if it backfires on him because all I would do is tell him 'told ya so.' And I DID have my told ya so moment!
"Ss told him what she does
"Ss told him what she does then tells DH, 'but you're different. I know you won't do anything'."
This is PRICELESS! The fact that his own son KNOWS his father is a "Guilt Parent" and tells him to his face probably does more to help your DH in the long run than YOU could ever do by telling him 10,000 times.
Perhaps this is the perfect "lightbulb moment" your DH needs in order to change his "Guilt Parent" ways, step up to the plate, and be an effective parent for the sake of his son.
Fingers crossed.
PS- As your blog title suggests, I know you feel your SS is "messed up" and a spoiled brat, but he's only this way because of ineffective parenting. I know it's hard to not like the kids because of their poor behavior, trust me, I KNOW, but once the effective parenting is put into place, the kids are usually much more 'tolerable.'
You are right in your PS. Dh
You are right in your PS. Dh was young when he was born and was a Disney dad til we got married. Bm's parents have always over compensated and have spoiled this kid beyond belief. Now that bm & her dh have a kid and we have our 3 the guilty parent thing has slowed down on both sides and ss is having to adjust. Unfortunately the gparents still spoil him causing his attitue and feeling of entitlement- spoiled brat. I also don't think he is messed up...what I meant was that he messed up. Meaning had the kid changed his attitude he would've actually gone home with a new phone. But because of his attitude he messed up and ended up without one.
I got ya
I got ya