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newly married how to deal with grown step daughter

malley's picture

Hi Im new here. Have seen allot of interesting post. Here is my
problem. My husband is awesome would take on king kong when it comes to me. All except his grown daughter. She's 25 and married. He has been divorced for 5 years from her mother. His daughter is
very immature. She's a constant little drama queen. Everytime her
mother does anything that she doesnt like shes calling her dad to let him know. Everytime Im around her she brings her mother up.
He constantly tells me he doesnt want to hear about his ex,but she always seems to be around. His daughter can be sweet and then turn around and hang a fang in you in a heartbeat. I was in a very abusive marriage before this. Im having a hard time standing up for myself and can see that I am building resentment towards my husband for letting his daughter constantly trying to bring her
mother into our marriage. He calls his daughter his little girl
all the time. It drives me crazy. Its like he will not deal with
her adult issues. We are now moving into a new home. We havent even
got everything unpacked. I work shift work and came home from work
last night. He tells me his daughter is lonely her husband is gone on a trip. She was planning on coming and staying with us. I dont
even have a bed set up yet. It seems that whatever she wants comes
first. I felt like I guess this isnt my home. That he didnt give
any consideration to the fact I live there too. I dont mind her
coming to see him, but can we please get unpacked first. She works in a town 3 hrs from us. She has to be at work all this week. I thought how insane is that???? When I said thats along way to drive it takes me 40 minutes to drive home from work. He said yeah
think how much farther for SD?? Hello I guess me working and bringing home a paycheck isnt as hard on me as her!After reading all of the great comments on here I think I will have a talk with him right now. Before I let my resentment get out of hand. I have a 11 year old son. I know what it is to love a child, but I dont
believe his every need comes before my husbands. I try to be fair
to him. My husband can talk to me about my son. I try to listen fairly, but when it comes to his daughter its like all sense goes
out the window. He always wants to defend that thats how she is and
she doesnt have anyone to vent about her mother. Her husband will
know longer listen to all her drama and wont get in on all of it.
Thanks for letting me vent and for all the great post on here!!!!
God Bless!

Comments

malley's picture

Thanks thats what Im going to try. I am going to be up front and just tell him excactly how I feel. I guess I've been thinking I
need to be more understanding about it all. In reality if I dont
say something I will only be hurting myself.

malley's picture

Oh thanks goforit. I know I think its weird for her to call him about her mom and her mothers family all the time. I told him to leave me completely out of it. I dont want to hear any of their problems not my biz. Thats helped me allot. His not really one to
rant at me or ever tell me Im being terrible. I just hate to confront him I guess, because I dont want to sound bitchy.
But, after reading all the post I realize I have a right to
stand up and say NO! Yes!!!! I hate the little girl crap. My
dad hasnt called me a little girl since I was probably 12 I have
always been his daughter when he refers to me. I just dont understand what makes her so much mores special than anyone
elses daughter that she must remain little girl. OOPS theres
the bitch thing coming out LOL