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Can't sleep!

zenjetset's picture

It's 3:30am and I can't sleep. Too much in my mind! BM and crazy family have my head spinning in a million directions. All I can repeat in my head is "no good deed goes unpunished" afterall, me and fdh tried in august to head off this situation, but regardless of our intent we still ended up in the exact same situation we were attempting to avoid.
So I ask myself, why did this happen? Because BM made it happen or did we contribute? I don't have the answers, I don't expect any answers anytime soon, but I know this...the switching of weekend she requested for October and what we requested for November are null and void!!! Why? Because she obviously can't keep her word and I am tried of contributing to my own situation.
Therefore at the break of dawn I will be sending oh dear bm a text say this...

Zen: This is to inform you that you should consider null and void any previous text or discussion concerning any changes to the visitation parenting schedule for the month of October and November. We are not interested in any switching of weekends any longer. Therefore, fdh is still scheduled for every other weekend. Meaning this is his weekend, then yours, then his, then yours, and so on. No further discussion is necessary since this has been the norm.

This should be a nice little F U this morning!!!

The history of the switching was that we wanted to take a weekend away with fdh family. Then bm started switching October to meet her schedule with traveling boyfriend. However, after everything that has happened over this past week of dealing with her and her lack of commitment fdh and I decided, no more! She can't accommodate her children for her sisters daughters party and we are made to look like the bad people in this and both of us have to be insulted!!! Nope not dealing with it. We are just sticking to the schedule as is...EOWe!!! Period!!

Let me know what you guys think!!!really value your opinion!

UPDATE:
Thought everyone needed a good laugh this morning. I received this text yesterday from bm, but after the saga and lack of sleep I didn't feel much like doing much of anything. This is her reply (cut and pasted). My favorite is "new". Lmfao

bm: New you were going to do that! Not surprised! I cant leave the girls suitcases at aftercare! I will leave them in carport at my house!
#######

I have zero intentions of replying. Because if I did it would be "duh?! You thought after all the insults directed at us by your family, that dh and I would extend anything to you. Specifically after your "bait and switch", not honoring your promise to your daughters or your commitment to dh. Yeah, you have lost your mind!!!"

But I'm not going to respond...good to vent here though!!

Comments

zenjetset's picture

You're right! My avatar is how I try to live my now and did prior to bm, skids, fdh, etc. Seems Luke I have lost sight if that and am bring pulled further into the eye of a hurricaine. I need to beathe, relax and find peace and serenity again within myself and my home. All this negativity creates and habors more resentment.

I'm will be sending the text and with that will go all the negativity. We will gain control of this unruley beast!!!

zenjetset's picture

Proud Arrow first good morning / afternoon.

You are 100% correct. In the past it has happened how you said, fdh and i sit together and determine an approach in replying to bm. For serveral reasons that changed and bm and i began communitcating. However, moving forward that will no longer happen. As you said my name is not on the CO.

I did send her the text this morning because I was the negotiator and person who had the conversation with bm regarding October and November changes. However, I believe fdh should follow up with an actual letter to bm with a calendar as you suggested.

I was also thinking we would post a calendar in the computer area for step daughters to see. We know for a fact adult related information is shared with them. SD11 has quoted one of my voice messages to bm. Nothing bad, just a shocker to hear your exact words coming back at you from an 11yo person.

Regardless of everything that has happened, fdh needs to take control of this and my helping out needs to be as it was - in the background. We discussed this this morning. He agrees. He spoke to his father who suggested he get his atty to write a letter to bm. To hopefully put an end to this.

It's just never ending. Now fdh got a voice mail from the husband of the younger sister!!! No boundaries. Give a finger take the hand!