You are here

Had a talk today...

youngmama1b1g's picture

My dearest husband actually muttered theses phrases to me: "You don't treat SS like you do BD. And you don't treat him like a teacher would. Can't you just treat him like one of your own?"
So, what do I say, "fine" and "ok"

Now if only my husband understood what that really means... heres a list for those who haven't seen this little code.
Something a little fun- which one do you always use??

Things that women SAY, and what they really MEANDescription:This is a list of things that a woman might say to you.

Sometimes when a woman says one thing, she really MEANS something totally different. This usually happens when she is talking to a guy. Women communicate on an encrypted channel that is very difficult, if not impossible for guys to decipher. Through years of experience with a specific woman, a guy may learn how to interpret his woman's signals into some sort of meaning, but that usually doesn't work very well. One woman hearing another woman say "Nothing" to her man will immediately know that he is in trouble, and that she is mad at him. He, on the other hand, hears the word "nothing", and believes exactly that - 'nothing' is wrong. He reasons that if nothing is wrong, then she has no problem to talk about, and that everything is okay.
A woman's ears pick up on the intonation much more, and amplify it. A man's ears are not near as sensitive to the intonation, and rely more on the wording of the message. We take the message more literally. When a woman says, "fine", "nothing", or "I have it", then the man believes that there is no problem that requires his attention, and he can concentrate on other things.
We will attempt to decipher what she means from what she says. Pay very careful attention to the intonation of the following phrases when you hear them spoken. Also, different intonations can mean different degrees of danger, or different types of trouble. A subtle difference in intonation can mean the difference between 'harmless', and 'run for your life'.

#1 "FINE!"
Translation: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

#2 "Five minutes."
Translation: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. In which case 'five minutes' means 300 seconds. When she finally is ready, you had better be able to leave right away, because SHE doesn't like to be kept waiting by you.

#3 "NOTHING!"
Translation: This is the calm before the storm. This means trouble is brewing, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in 'Fine'.

#4 "Go ahead!"
Translation: This is a dare. This is not permission. She is really challenging you to do it. If you do it, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble at some point in the near future.

#5 (LOUD SIGH)
Translation: This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of 'Nothing'.)

#6 (SOFT SIGH)
Translation: Again, not a word, but a nonverbal statement. Soft sighs mean that she is contented. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay contented.

#7 "That's OK."
Translation: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. 'That's okay' means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. And you WILL pay dearly.

#8 "Thanks." or "Thank you."
Translation: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say "You're Welcome."
Note: Pay careful attention to the intonation of how this is said. If you sense any anger, then see #9 "THANKS A LOT"

#9 "Thanks a lot."
Translation: This is very different from "Thanks" OR "Thank you." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will often be followed by the Loud Sigh. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing."

#10 "WHATEVER."
Translation: Is a woman's way of saying "F**K U!" She's saying to go ahead and believe whatever you want, because your opinion doesn't matter anyway.

#11 "Don't worry about it. I've got it."
Translation: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. She is going to make sure you pay. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.

#12 "What are you doing Friday night?"
Translation: "Are WE doing something together Friday night?"
Alternate translation: "I want to do something with my girlfriends Friday night."

#13 "Do I look fat in this?"
Translation: "I’m feeling insecure about my appearance. Tell me I’m beautiful."
Possible translation: "This is a new outfit, and I’m not sure if it flatters me or not."
Possible translation: "We haven't had a fight in a while."

#14 "You know photos of models are airbrushed, right?"
Translation: "I’m insecure because I know I’m not as beautiful/hot/sexy as that model."

#15 "Isn't that baby cute?"
Translation: "Do you think you’ll want kids someday?"
Possible translation: "Do you think you’ll want to make babies with ME someday?", or "When are WE going to start making a baby?"

#16 "How long have we been together now? Do you even know?"
Translation: "I think I’m more serious about this relationship than you are. Are you committed to me, or am I wasting my time with you?"
Possible translation: "You forgot that this is our anniversary."

#17 "Please DO."
Translation: This is not a statement, it is an offer. She will say this after you have done something wrong, and you have said that you have an explanation. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever stupid thoughtless thing it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"

#18 "I'm really busy this week, and next week too."
Translation: "I need some space.'
Possible translation: "I’m evaluating this relationship.", "You've been replaced, and I just haven't told you about him yet."

#19 "We don't talk like we used to."
Translation: "Talk to me. I don’t feel close to you. I’m worried about our relationship."

#20 "I'm not upset."
Translation: "Of course I'm upset you idiot!"

#21 "You're so manly."
Translation: 'You need a shave and you sweat a lot.'

#22 "Be romantic and turn out the lights."
Translation: "I have flabby thighs or stomach and I don't want you to see them."

#23 "This kitchen is so inconvenient."
Translation: "I want a new house."

#24 "I want new curtains."
Translation: "I want new curtains. I will also want new carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper to go with the new curtains."

#25 "I heard a noise."
Translation: "I noticed you were almost asleep."

#26 "Do you love me?"
Translation: "I want something expensive."

#27 "How much do you love me?"
Translation: "I did something terrible today."

#28 "I'll be ready in a minute."
Translation: "Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV."

#29 "You have to learn to communicate."
Translation: "Just agree with me."

#30 "It's up to you."
Translation: This meaning is a little bit like "GO AHEAD". She is telling you that you know how she feels, or would like for you to do, and that you know that your way is likely wrong, but that if you go ahead and do it your way, you will be in big trouble. This is not as strong of a dare as "GO AHEAD", but she will be watching to see if you make the wrong choice, and that you will never hear the last of it if you do. She is not telling you that she will agree with whatever you decide. In rare circumstances, this may mean that she knows nothing about the decision you are faced with, and that she is relying on your expertise in the matter. Pay careful attention to the intonation, as it should be obvious what she is telling you.

#31 "I'm fine."
Translation: "I'm unhappy, and I'm not going to give you a hint at what it is, but you SHOULD know which one of a thousand things that have happened during the past week is the cause of it."

#32 "I'LL get the check this time."
Translation: "Nice try jerk, but I'm NOT putting out."

#33 "We need to talk."
Translation: "I'm pregnant."
Alternate translation: "My mom is coming to live with us."
Alternate translation: "My other boyfriend has become a higher priority in my life."

#34 "I just wish you would understand."
Translation: "And yet, I refuse to explain."

#35 "I can't deal with this any more."
Translation: "The chances of me being wrong in this particular situation appear to be gradually increasing, and I want to stop so that I don't get shown to be any more wrong."

#36 "It's alright. Pizza is fine."
Translation: "You cheap bastard."

#37 "Oh my god, [actress/singer/attractive friend] is SO pretty!"
Translation: "Tell me I'm ten times more beautiful. SAY IT!"

#38 "No."
Translation: "No." (despite what you would like to believe, Mr. drunken frat boy, No really does mean No.*)

#39 "No."
Translation:[*except when it means yes.]

#40 "Maybe."
Translation: Also "No."

#41 "I'll think about it."
Translation: "Still No."

#42 "Could you (unpleasant chore) when you get a chance?"
Translation: "You had damn well better [unpleasant chore] right now."

#43 "You're such a great friend."
Translation: "You will never see me naked. Never." Also, "I think of you more as a woman than as a man"

#44 "Oh my god, you're so immature!"
Translation: "That was hilarious, but I'm upset that I didn't think of it first."

#45 "You KNEW we were (Event you are unprepared for) today!"
Translation: "I mentioned it in passing several weeks ago!"

#46 "It's a girl thing."
Translation: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it."

#47 "Deal With It!"
Translation: 'I don't care, so shut up and get over it. I don't want to hear you whine/complain/bitch and it's not going to change."

#48 "You two seemed to be having a nice conversation."
Translation: "Why in the hell were you talking to her for so long? You should be giving that attention to ME!"

#49 "...if you like" (this is often added to the end of a 'suggestion'.)
Translation: "I am pretending to make this sound like it's optional, but really it's not. So you'd better do what I'm suggesting."

#50 "By The Way..."
Translation: "I already know your secret because girlfriends talk and share EVERYTHING. There is nothing that you can do, that I don't know about."

#51 "You Should Know"
Translation: "It could be any one of a thousand different things. So it should be glaringly obvious."

#52. "You'll see."
Translation: Dude, you are SOOOOOOO screwed! She already has plans in the works to make you bleed from every pore of your body. Find a good lawyer and start hiding all of your assets. You're not going to be able to keep the Jag.

#53. "I Just Need Some Space."
Translation: ".... without you in it."

#54. "I'm Just Going Out With The Girls."
Translation: "We're gonna make fun of you and your friends."

#55. "No, Pizza's Fine."
Translation: ".... you cheap slob!"

#56. "I Just Don't Want A Boyfriend Now."
Translation: "I just don't want you as a boyfriend now."

#57. "I Don't Know, What Do You Want To Do?"
Translation: "I can't believe you have nothing planned."

#58. "Come Here."
Translation: "My puppy does this, too."

#59. "I Like You, But..."
Translation: "I don't like you."

#60. "You Never Listen."
Translation: "You never listen."

#61. "I'll Be Ready In A Minute."
Translation: "I'm ready, but I'm going to make you wait because I know you will."

#62. "Oh, No, I'll Pay For Myself."
Translation: "I'm just being nice; there's no way I'm going dutch."

#63. "Oh Yes!!! Right There!!"
Translation: "Well, near there; I just want to get this over with."

#64. "You look great!"
Translation: "Which plastic surgeon did you go to?"

#65. "We're just friends."
Translation: "We're having a secret affair, but nobody's figured it out yet."

#66. "I'm an Independent Woman."
Translation: "I'll divorce you the first chance that I get."