And I thought things were going well
Well DH and I worked out our issues re: SD and I told him I'd support him in his fight to see her, even though it means playing BM's stupid games which aggravates me to no end and makes me feel like I come last in the relationship. Figured keep the peace and the rest will follow. So DH and I were having a fabulous night, made love, talked about our future plans, had apologizes go both ways...
...Then MIL, who is visiting from out of town basically tells me that she disagrees with the influence I have over DH and she thinks we shouldn't be together and shouldn't have a family together. I was absolutely floored. MIL/FIL HATE BM with a passion but they were basically saying that DH should spend the rest of his life appeasing her all for SD, who is so ridiculously alienated from him that she does nothing but scream and throw tantrums during visitation about wanting to see her mom! Seriously! I recorded the sound from one of the tantrums (the door were shut) and it's literally like living in "The Exorcist." SD(4) is extremely maladjusted, has no friends at school, learning delays, etc and yet BM REFUSES to get this child help! What kind of 4 year old, who has been in daycare/preschool since age 2 STILL cannot identify all the colors or sing the ABCs. Or wipe her own ass. And has to be carried everywhere like a baby and cries at night if we try to make her sleep alone.
The thing with MIL just hurts because I have really reached out to her the past few days and I thought we were building a great bond, becoming friends even. Boy was that a slap in the face.
The drama with BM/SD is unbearable yet I slug on knowing that in a couple of weeks my husband will be away for work for six months and I won't have to deal with them. We were hoping to move out of state after this but MIL said she disagrees with it because of poor precious SD.
...TBH that kid is a total brat and I'd be happy to deal with her less often through the year as she grows up to be more and more like her BPD BM.
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Did your husband take any
Did your husband take any steps to get his daughter any help? If he makes a request, the day center can get the ball rolling with early intervention.
He tried to make an
He tried to make an appointment with a child psychologist, but when BM found out she demanded that she needed to approve and (legally) had a leg to stand on. The school wanted SD to see the child psychologist they have on staff but BM refused. Right now she's in a Catholic preschool, but we are probably going to push for her to attend a public school for the very reasons that have been mentioned. I told DH although yes, there is SOME selfish motivation that if SD gets help and is better adjusted and behaved my life would be easier, but why WOULDN'T he want his daughter to be a happy, well-adjusted kid? I'm sure that with the way she is now she can't be happy, and I feel bad when she tells me that none of the kids at school want to play with her or be her friend.
The Catholic school will take
The Catholic school will take action if dad seeks their help. She will receive the same services in preschool that she will receive in school. The early intervention program will send therapist(speech,OT, special Ed....) to her perschool. They will work with her in her classroom and provide pull out one on one services as well. Here, (NYC) all of the testing and services are free. Students in both public and faith based preschools and schools are eligible for these services.
If she's identified in preschool, an IEP can be in place and services continued when she starts kindergarten.
Even if mom isn't on board, dad can get the ball rolling on this. If mom refuses, and the school recognizes the child needs the services, they can file an educational neglect charge with CPS.
We've been trying and when my
We've been trying and when my husband returns from his deployment (we're military) court will definitely be happening. We've tried CPS and while they have an open case, my therapist has even said that CPS where we are is, in his words, "like a third-world country."