Hi everyone...
...I'm a Stepmom of two SD17 and SS14. We got married whe SD15 and SS11. In the beginning everything was great. I helped SD get her ID, start a bank account bc her BM was taking all her savings. Helped her get a part time job so she could start saving for her first car an even allowed her to invite 1 guest to our wedding which only had 10 people present (including my husband and I). Well soon we got tofind out that her boyfriend is 20 and she was 15. She brought her20 year old boyfriend We found out later tht they started having sex when she was 14 and he BM hid it from her dad. On our wedding dau I even gave her a pair of dimond earrings and told her that they were a wedding present for her. And now she has her has her own first piece of heirloom jewelry for her children. I had noticed her staring at my engagement ring which was her great-grandmother's and wanted her to feel secure that she too had something of her own to pass down in the future. Anyway, need lessto say I treated her like my own. Then her boyfriend brought her home very late on a night that her dad had to work out of town. Ater telling them that they should call, I was scared out of my mind. The boyfriend told me that I was f-ing trying to playmom. Then the daughter gets in my face because her precious statutory rapist (sorry but true) was upset and says F-U 3 times to me. Like 6 inches away from my face. Never have I wanted to beat the living shit out of a person before. Mind you she weighed more than me. My husband and I realized tha we were pregnant andsoon things just got worst. The BM was letting SD and 20 yearold boyfriend stay over her house bc he worked for the BM but wait she never paid him. Or maybe letting him shack up with her 15 yearold daughter was payment. Anyways, My husband and I worked really had on building a relationship with her but she continuously puts her boyfreind first, second and last. The BM does nothing. SD came back to our house with SS and had realy bad menstrual cramps.Husband and I are up to 3 AM making her tea and getting her a heating pad. After talking to her, I realized she (now 16) never went to a gynecologist before. After 2 years of having sex. When I said well why not...she replied that her BM said she doesnt want to believe that she's growing up. WTF...would she rather have a grandkid? So I set up and appointmentand last minute BM decides she's gonna take her, instead. Fine with me.

All this time I have had the SS and SD for 6 months straight...then EOW. SS was always a little defiant. Everytime I asked him to help he would say "Why?" I mean for everything! Would talk to his dad abt it but dad just wasn't on it in the parenting dept and i could tell that he was caught in between the kids and me. Soon with SD not coming back to ur home, I felt really guilty and bad. But back to SS14..he is lazy,selfish and just lies. He has had warts for 2 years now. I have tried to get on him to put the meds on consistantly. He recently came back from BMs home with a rugburn rash thing n on his leg but he doesn't take care of himself and it started to fester! I have a little baby in the house and I constantly in fear and disgust for his hygene and baby catching any of his nasties. In thelast year he has came home from with lice 3 times! once SD16 came over with lice and gave it to us. BM never thought of telling us this when she sent daughter with us. I have gotten lice 3 times! once when i was 9 months pregnant, and even when my daughter was 6 months old she got it to! I am so tired and disgusted with what i have married into...

I am also continuously undermined by SS everytime he's home with us. I have taken care of him more than his mother since being married to his father. I go to all his PTA meetings, take him to all sports, got him his ID, started his bank account (he doesnt want his BM to know he has any money, either), and I stay up with him tomidnight tutoring him. I cook, take care of my new baby -she's now 1 andd awesome! And really and truly I am fed up! My husband has really tried but it is not bc he sees fit to do it- I have to get on him. He always sits and has 3 hour long conversations and is gentle and loving, which was cool in the begining but now the kids don't listen. They just say yes to everythin and say sorry and for him its' all good.

I love my husband sooo much and I do know that he has come a long way from the guilt and constant defending his children but I am feeling so sick. Until I got to this site i didnt feel like anyone understood my point of view. But I've read other SMs comments and i finally feel like i can relate and be understood, without having to feel guilty about my emotions to step kids. I wake upe with headaches, stressing all the time, feel anxiety when the SS has to come over, Sd doesnt come over any more (she has only seen the baby once in the last year)...uhhhh...really feel like I fu@ked up my life and now my daughter's because of this horrible situation.

I have no family where we live and any support is welcomed. If you plan or intend to trash me go away...I need hugs