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FDH to Skype with the useless BM...

THE Wifey's picture

So, FDH has scheduled Skype with Skeletor for tomorrow morning to tell her the "conditions" to him signing her second mortgage mod. They are things that she will never agree to as she thinks that she can have her cake and eat it too. The conditions are:

1. She will stop threatening to get a restraining order on me for using a few curse words. Realize that I am younger than she is and different things are acceptable in different generations (although I will never make that mistake again and will NEVER even utter another word to her).

2). She will put in writing that she will refinance BOTH her mortgages within 10 years. FDH said five, but I thought she needed ten. Aren't I a peach?!

3). She will change her e-mail and computer passwords to something that the skids do not know so that they cannot sneak and read e-mails between FDH and Skeletor. She will promise in writing that she will no longer speak ill of FDH to his children.

4). She will stop nickel and diming us on medical expenses. The order says nothing about medical, which means that everything under $250 per incident per child is covered in the ridiculous amount of child support that she receives. Still, we plan to pay things the kids ask for that she tells them no about, we just aren't making that commitment to HER.

NO WAY this loser will agree to those things. She can take her mortgage mod and shove it. She has e-mailed him three times in two days browbeating him for an answer. She also cornered him when FSS13 was in ICU and actually had him almost convinced it was "no big deal" to just go ahead and sign it. She is a fool and she will act as such tomorrow. This is going to go over like a turd in a birthday cake...

I should also explain, the reason why he is doing Skype is because he refuses to put anything in writing since she showed my e-mail to FSS18 and left her e-mail open so that FSD16 could easily snoop. He won't e-mail her and is refusing to even talk to her on the phone because he cannot see that the kids aren't there. She is such a selfish idiot for dragging her kids into this. All to save $100 a month. Loser...

Comments

Stick's picture

The Wifey - Am I reading this correctly? DH is going to sign paperwork to let BM modify her mortgage and she has to get his name off in TEN years??? Please tell me I am reading that incorrectly.

If I'm reading it right - DON'T DO IT. Make her refinance now! DH here is still tied to BM because of a house and it SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS!!!

Save yourself!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

THE Wifey's picture

Well he already signed the one on her FIRST mortgage because it was 6k in the hole and "Your kids will be on the street if you don't". He is on the hook for that shit for THIRTY-FIVE years. It also would have left a foreclosure on his credit, so he was screwed either way. This is her SECOND mortgage. It will save her all of a hundred dollars, but "Your FAMILY needs a place to live. WE need this hundred dollars". She is a f*cking master manipulator. She can rot on the curb for all I care.

Stick's picture

Our agreement is signed by a family court judge, filed in family court, and also attached to the deed as a declaration. And I KNOW we will STILL HAVE TO FIGHT BM in court when the time comes. I am sincerely hoping I am wrong wrong wrong, but I have a nagging suspicion that next year will be rough for us.

THE Wifey's picture

Yeah, you are right. His lawyer said the first step is getting stuff in writing from her. It actually already says in their order that neither parent will trash the other one to or in front of the children. You know, the rules don't apply to her! She is "special" and "chosen" and "entitled". I'd like to give her what she's "entitled" to.

THE Wifey's picture

Thanks:)

UPDATE: He told her the first condition was to apologize to me for threatening me with a restraining order and she said "No", and he said "Okay, then this conversation is over". Now she is sending bullshit trying to convince him to sign it. She is so narcissistic and selfish.

THE Wifey's picture

AHHHH!!! Exactly what I say, but "their lives will be disrupted" and "it is THEIR house, with their rooms". It is so f*cking dysfunctional. The guilt trip is long with many pit stops and souvenirs. And she has the kids PASed into believing that he is the biggest d-bag on the planet because he doesn't give her the $4200 a month he was giving her. He believes that her losing her house and them having to move would send a message to his kids that he doesn't care about them and has chosen a woman, or as two of them have stated in the past, "pu$$y" over them. It is the most messed up situation, ridden with guilt at every turn. This woman is a master manipulator.

Besides that, there is the practical aspect. Two of them are in high school and one of them is in 8th grade and will be entering high school, and we live 6 hours from them. They do have rooms at their Grandmother's house though. They have their OWN ROOMS. This is the same woman (their Grandmother) who called me a horrible mother in an e-mail to me because I let my mother take care of my Autistic child (after leaving an abusive relationship) so that I could finish school. I didn't ask my ex for more money. I did what I needed to to keep my son's life as stable as possible. ME. These people are dysfunction's incestuous hillbilly siblings for sure.

THE Wifey's picture

No! It isn't illegal. She is a raging Bible-thumping Fundamentalist (when it suits her). Evidently FDH and me cannot swear at all, drink so much as a glass of wine, or yell at all. Stuff like that.

What he meant when he told her that was that she needed to understand that I am quite a bit younger than her and where she is making this enormous deal out of the fact that I told her off and used 6 cuss words in the e-mail, that it is not the end of the world. It is the end of HER world because she has isolated herself and tried to isolate her children from this annoying thing called REALITY. Reality says that sometimes people call you on things that you do wrong. She is so entitled she cannot even understand ANYONE calling her on anything that she does wrong. She is used to people being just as much of a judgmental lunatic as she is, or just rolling over to her demands. When met with opposition she wants to get a "restraining order".

I have had three lawyers (one my own mother) tell me that she WILL NOT get the restraining order. As far as I know she hasn't applied for one. He is trying to get her to admit that she is asinine for even suggesting such a thing. I have never threatened or laid a hand on her in any way ever. She has no merit.

The other stuff is already included in their order. He will be getting anything she agrees to in writing and the order will be amended to include it. It is important to mention here that their jurisdiction is in Louisiana, which is under Napoleonic law. Their court system is vastly different than everywhere else in a lot of ways.

Also, he is doing the Skype because he doesn't want to send her anything in writing at this point because she has been allowing his children to read the e-mails. Anything she agrees to on Skype, she will need to send to him in writing and then he will contact his lawyer.

You are right though, I do not want him to sign this, not even a little.

And you are also right in that I know that he needs to say enough is enough and quit giving in to her demands. She will just demand more and he will just feel guilty and the cycle will never end.

THE Wifey's picture

That is the thing, we can't. THAT SAID, he will no longer be putting anything in writing and that will get really annoying for her because when she calls, even if the kids are with us, he rarely answers the phone. Just tells the kids... Call your mother and see what she wants. When they aren't with us he waits for her to leave a message and if it isn't about one of the kids and an emergency, he doesn't call back. She is one of those people who can talk about HERSELF for hours where you cannot get a word in edge wise. She should definitely join over-sharers anonymous. F*ck join, she should be the freaking President. She has no idea what the concept of reciprocated conversation even is.

Anyway, Skype attempt number two should be tonight. I wish he would get it over with, the "anticipation" is stressing me out. She has e-mailed him like three times today (he has already told her he will not be putting anything in writing) AND she e-mailed ALL of his e-mail accounts this morning. LOSER.

PoisonApples's picture

IMO, the ONLY proper answer to a custodial parent when they ask for money or favours like signing a mortgage etc is:

If you aren't able to take care of the children properly then they need to come and live with me. I will make sure they have a place to live, clothing to wear and food to eat.

THE Wifey's picture

I love that too. Unfortunately my FDH doesn't see it that way. He says that he knows his kids (military has moved them a bunch) are done leaving their friends and starting over. Therefore, it is his job to make sure they are provided for, and if a casualty of that is that it benefits her, so be it. His kids shouldn't have to suffer because their mom has no ambition. FML.

Milomom's picture

The Wifey, sorry that you're going through this.

Your FDH is the problem here - he has NO CONCEPT of BOUNDARIES when it comes to financial matters with his exW. Does your FDH make a lot of money? If so, that's his "currency" and his exW knows it and knows how to USE it via. the skids.

There is absolutely, positively NO REASON WHATSOEVER for your FDH to be signing a Second Mortgage refi/loan mod for his exW. He continues to ALLOW himself to be her financial lifeline. You know the old saying "You will only be treated the way you ALLOW yourself to be treated." I call BULLSHYTE on his lame excuse "Ohhh the poooor kids are already children of divooorce and they shouldn't have to leeeave their friends and start oooovvver.". His exW can easily "downsize" to another residence that is more affordable and in the same area/school district - to have the added effect of it not making his pooor kidds sufffer.

I think you said earlier that your FDH already signed a First Mortgage loan mod/refi papers that makes him liable for THAT loan for 35 yrs. - is he INSANE???? Maybe I read that one wrong. I hope he kept his name on the Deed/title at least.... What a fool. Does he even use a lawyer for any of this??? What is HE doing to protect HIMSELF (and you) in all of this?

I'm also confused as to why HIS credit would have been hurt in a foreclosure action? Was he actually DUMB enough to allow his exW to remain living in a house that she couldn't afford instead of having HER buy him out/refi - and kept his name on everything?? Wow, that's the oldest trick in the book. When they divorced, if she couldn't afford to hold the note on her own, then a sale of the home should've been forced and she could have done what she wanted with HER percent of the sale proceeds IN HER OWN NAME AT HER OWN RISK.

Please tell me that I'm reading all of this wrong and that it isn't as bad as it sounds.

My advice to you (for the immediate future): go relax & have lunch/drinks with a friend, get your nails done, do something for YOURSELF and get away from this whole toxic scenario. If it's as bad as it sounds, then I would urge you to reconsider marrying a man like your FDH. Sorry, not trying to be mean or offensive - just trying to look out for you. Do you really want to be dealing with all of this CRAP for the next 30 years???