What would YOU do?
Let's roleplay for a moment. Please tell me how you would handle the following:
You are a single mom of 3 kids BD13, BS11, Baby2
You live in a house with 3 bedrooms (about 1100 square feet)
BD13 and BS11 have always had their own rooms.
Baby is now 2 years old
How to you handle bedrooms/kids?
Do you keep baby in your room until older kids leave home?
Do you make the 13 year old and the 2 year old share a room?
Do you look for a bigger home to house your expanding family?
Do you make the older two combine a room and give baby her own?
Thoughts???
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Do you look for a bigger home
Do you look for a bigger home to house your expanding family?
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I would do this.
If you can afford a bigger
If you can afford a bigger house that would be the solution. 1100 square feet is pretty small house for all of you - in your bio you now have 5 kids all together - are you going to marry you BF with the two kids or move everyone in together if so then you will need a bigger house.
I would try to get a bigger
I would try to get a bigger house. since the two children are older and the opposite sex,it would be awkward for them to share a room.
No, this isn't my situation.
No, this isn't my situation.
This is the BM I deal with's situation.
The home she lives in is owned by her parents so she is supposed to pay them about $300/month but she claims she's several months behind. She is unemployed (because she refuses to put the baby in daycare). She receives CS from DH just under $1000/month and she's supposed to receive CS from the baby's dad too but I guess he hasn't been paying like he's supposed to.
Financially I guess she doesn't have the option to find a bigger place. However, she just told DH that she's going to be moving the baby into SD13's room before the end of the year since she's too big for a crib now. DH is livid about it. We were discussing last night what we thought her options were and I was wondering if there were some we hadn't thought of.
Now, we do have 6 people in our home which isn't a big house, about 1500 square feet. We have Boy14, Boy11, Boy8, Girl13. The two oldest boys shared a room until school started this year. Now the oldest boy has his own room and the two younger boys share a room. It's easier since the middle boy is exactly 3 years between both of the other two boys. The girl obviously gets her own room even though she isn't there full time.
He's upset the his 13 year
He's upset the his 13 year old daughter is going to be forced to share a room with her 2 year old 1/2 sister because BM made a stupid decision and got knocked up by some dude she'd met online after just 3 months.
He's basically tired of his kids having to live with the consequences of BM's actions. It seems to be a pretty big deal for him.
I agree it's not the end of
I agree it's not the end of the world. I don't think it would be a slam dunk to get custody. I do think it might make SD that much more anxious to come live with us. Right now she says she wants to finish JR.High there with her mom but she isn't sure where she wants to go to HS.
I just can't imagine a HS student sharing a room with a Kindergartener. While it's not the end of the world, I still think the more appropriate thing is to have the baby share BM's room. He's realistic enough to know there's no way for him to mandate this but it doesn't mean he has to be happy about it.
Edited to add: When I say he's 'livid' about it. He's upset about it. He's not calling BM and telling her off or demanding anything of her or threatening her. He's just upset that once again the woman he chose to have kids with is making decisions that have a negative impact on their children. He knows his hands are tied on the matter.
My youngest sister was almost
My youngest sister was almost 2 when mom and bf moved her into my room. I was 13. It sucked. I was expected to take care of her whenever she woke up at night. She lost the opal ring my aunt got me for my bday. Yeah, it totally sucked.
Maybe you can get SD a lock box or something else to keep her belongings safe from baby.
I know that sometimes I think
I know that sometimes I think about what would happen if we had another kid and I would put the baby with my 17 dd. we can;t afford another home and she is the only one that doesn;t share a room. there is nothing wrong with her sharing a room with her sister at all. I mean she IS her sister. IMO dh should not be upset aboput this at all. If anything he should be happy that his dd will learn to share and be close to her sister.
SD is already not happy about
SD is already not happy about not being able to shut her door to keep baby out of her things. So, I don't think she's going to be too keen on the idea of her being in there all the time. I could be wrong, and hope that I am. But she likes her quiet/solo time. She's already complaining about having to fight her sister off while she does her homework because mom insists that she leaves the door open.
DH and I also discussed what we would do if we decided to have one of our own before we were able to have a larger house. We both agreed that baby would stay with us in our room until we were able to get a bigger home, or until one of the older kiddos moved out.
I'm not slamming BM here. There are some strong differences in opinion but the bottom line is she has gotten herself into a situation where there really isn't an ideal answer.
If a bigger home is not
If a bigger home is not possible I would combine the boys in a room and give the third room to the girl. Or .... put
My younger bro and I shared a room for ~four years from when I was 10-14 and he was 4-8. We got along fine.
Do what is the most peaceful thing for you. Kids are flexible. They bounce. They will adapt.
IMHO of course.
Best regards,