I have minimal contact with BM especially now that the skids are both teenagers, have their own phones and we've gone almost a year without having to appear in family court. SD15 lives with us, SS13 lives with BM and the parenting schedules have been in place long enough for routines to be established, when we do exchange kids, the adults honk and the kids come out. So other than the occasional kid event I rarely have to interact with or even see BM.

My problem is, BM continues to ask DH, SS, and SD at least once a month if I'm pregnant. When DH told her we were getting married, she asked if I was pregnant, he petitioned to modify the parenting agreement to make official what they'd done for years, BM asks if I'm pregnant, SD decided to move in with us, she asked if I was pregnant, DH told her we were moving this past summer, she asked if I was pregnant, she brought SD home today after her Christmas break and she asks SD if I'm pregnant and proceeds to tell SD that when DH was dating the girl before me that he'd said he might want more kids. I already knew this story and this was something that he said to BM almost 7 years ago because BM was flirting with him hardcore while he was with this other girlfriend and making him believe they could be a family again and in the midst of feeling all sentimental and shit he mentioned them (DH and BM) maybe adding another one if things worked out. Of course as soon as DH dumped his GF then BM wanted nothing more to do with him. Shocker!! BM even asked me directly one time a couple years ago if I was going to have a baby with DH, she actually said (more like screamed) "I dare you to have a baby with him". I never could figure that comment out.....is she daring me because she thinks that would destroy us or daring me because she wants to be the only woman to have children with DH? Any thoughts on the meaning of that comment???

DH and i have been married for 4 years now and I just can't get over her obsession of our reproduction or lack there of. Fact is, I'm done having kids, by choice. I've been a mom since I was 19, DH and I have 4 kids between us, 3 of which are teenagers and the youngest is 10. There's no way in hell I'd volunteer to start all over at this point! I'll admit there are days when DH and I both get baby fever and I've shed a few tears about not sharing that baby experience with DH. It was especially hard because BM has another kid from some fling she had with a guy she had met online (she got pregnant the first month they met) and I saw DH go all googely-eyed when the baby was doing something cute. And it hit me again when lots of my friends from high school are just now starting down the baby path. But in all practicality it doesn't make sense for us. I'm ready to do some things for me, and eventually look forward to having grand babies to spoil and then send home! There are some days though that I'd love to be able to tell her "yes, I'm having DH's baby you nosy frackin witch!!"

Tonight, SD also told me (just in conversation) that BM thinks I'm fake. I'm not sure why this bothers me, I know it's wasted energy and I shouldn't care what the crazy lady thinks of me. But, I'm a peace-keeper type personality, I hate it when someone dislikes me or is mad at me and I hate confrontations. DH says she probably does think that because after all the shit she's said and done to us and how she's acted the past 4 years I continue to smile and be happy anytime I'm around her. She can't let go of anything and can't be nice to anyone so I must be faking it and putting on a show, because happy, kind, smiling people can't possibly exist in her world. I suppose she's somewhat right. I don't think too highly of her, but its just my nature to smile and be nice, considerate and polite to people. Maybe I am fake, but at least I'm happy and not a miserable lonely old wretch.