I could not run away fast enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So...here's the update. My SD14 wrote a letter to her Dad that I found in a notebook in her room. It was a letter pleading on him to leave me. It also stated information about a recent arguement that myself and my DH had. She apparently got the information from her mother. So, my DH has been telling ALL of our business to his first ex-wife. JUST GREAT! When I called him out on it, he lied. Of course. Fast forward to the next day and I am told that the doctor's have found a tumor on my kidney. When I came home, he was not there. The bratty SD14 had gotten into an argument with her stepdad at her Mom's house, and she hit him. So, naturally, she begged and pleaded to come to our house. When I got home from the doctor's, the house was empty. Then, my DH comes home with the SD14, and she immediately runs back to her room. My DH comes to me and says, "so, what...are you not talking to me?" I was in a daze at the information I had just been told. I just sat there. Then, he tries to pick a fight. I just sat there and started crying. Finally, I cut him off and just blurted out "I have a tumor". He stopped...walked over to me...put his hand on my shoulder and said that I would be OK. Then he went and hid out for the rest of the night. The next day, when I got home he asked me for a divorce and to be out of the house by the weekend....he had someone else moving in. I could not leave fast enough. He has already filed for divorce. Thankfully, I had another place to go to (the house I lived in before we got married - I had rented it out for the past 5 years), and this past weekend my friends and family pitched in to get me moved out. After almost 5 years, I learned that I was just as I thought...A maid, an extra paycheck, and someone to sleep with every now and then. He really had the wool pulled over my eyes. I am thankful that this did not last any longer than it did. I am crushed and will never be in another relationship again. From here on out...I am focused on my son.
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Comments
OMG what a cold,
OMG what a cold, selfish...omg...I am so sorry, prayers for your health and strength and a great relationship with BS.
Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry, but
Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry, but yet I feel relieved for you. I agree, I don't think I could have left any faster. What as asshole!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOOD RIDDANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What are your treatment options?
OMG I AM SO SORRY! That is
:jawdrop: OMG I AM SO SORRY! That is absolutly horrible and I feel terrible for you! The only consolation that I can give to you is that you are not with that horrible man and his daughter. Good riddance I say! Get better, get well, and get yourself a good man! Sending you so many hugs!!
Wow. I'm so glad you're away
Wow. I'm so glad you're away from that asshole...and I don't even know him! You don't need that hostility dragging you down with health issues. Focus on yourself and your son and don't look back. Hugs!!
It is good that you are out,
It is good that you are out, I hope that treatment for your tumor goes well and I am so sorry that this is all happening to you.
What an ass. Good riddance.
What an ass. Good riddance. Glad you are moving on. I am sure you will be fine. They will probably remove the kidney since you can function with one and it will all be over...Congrats on seeing the light. He sounds like a jerk.
What a piece of shit! Stay
What a piece of shit!
Stay Strong! Glad you got out.
(((((HUGS!!!)))))) What a
(((((HUGS!!!))))))
What a rotten bastard of a guilty daddy!!!
Take uber good care of yourself and when you are healed (emotionally from the TRAUMA that ASSWIPE put you through and physically) vow NEVER AGAIN a man with a previously enjoyed golden uterus!!!!
Some men are so
Some men are so disgusting!
Im relieved you have somewhere to go! What a piece. I understand where kids come first in some situations, but this is sick. I hope everything turns out for the best.
Thanks everyone...here is an
Thanks everyone...here is an update.
My DH wants us to go to counseling and see if we can work this out. Also, since I left last weekend, he has decided that he wants a relationship with his 2nd ex-wife's kids and is now talking with her as well. That's all I need is two Baby-mommas...UGH!!! I told him that I would NEVER move back into that house again...he could keep all of that drama over there. At this point, my heart is fighting with my mind. I love this man deeply and am so extremely hurt by what he has done to me. I have to be able to say that I gave my all. I will go to the counselor's with him next week....but I think I have all the answers I need. His actions are stronger than words.
I will keep you posted
I understand the heart
I understand the heart fighting with the head. Probably more than you realize (I moved away from my DH because of his alcoholism - we are working it out and he has been sober for 6 months now).
How can your heart not be CRUSHED by him filing for a DIVORCE and having someone else to move in when you JUST ANNOUNCED YOU HAVE CANCER?!?
What, did the other fling not work out? Did he realize just how much you DO in the household? How can you EVER trust this guy again?? He let you down when you needed him the most. How is that ever forgiveable?
IMHO, the stress is not worth it. It is your HEALTH we are talking about, not just regular run-of-the-mill skid/BM stress. Please don't let him sweet talk you into thinking things will be fine.
Of course..it's all my fault.
Of course..it's all my fault. He says I pushed him away. You know...the thing that gets me is that I would have NEVER left him if he were in my shoes. My mother (whom is my best friend) made me download Martina McBride's "I'm gonna love you through it". The more and more I listen to it....I understand that's what true love is. I went out with my girlfriends this weekend and made the mistake of inviting him to my house (i guess I had too much to drink and was not thinking straight....I hardly ever drink). He actually had the nerve to ask me the next morning before he left if he can get his "stuff" back that I took when I left. When i told him no, he picked a fight with me and I made him leave. I do not think I have EVER met such a selfish man. I guees that explains SD14. Counceling is today...I am going, but I know what I need to do. It should be interesting because I cannot even bring myself to talk to him or even respond to a text message. He is insisting on taking me for my scope tomorrow...they are doing a biopsy of my bladder. My mom says over her dead body...lol.
I gave him my entire heart and soul. He just used me. I am so beyond crushed. And he says he wants to remain friends.....I guess that's when he needs a maid and a "stress reliever" again? No thank you...
My heart will never be the
My heart will never be the same....
Could not agree more - he is
Could not agree more - he is just trying to make himself look better so he can say that he was "there" for you. Don't fall for it. You have seen him for what he is - don't let him off the hook. Please get a good attorney and get the best settlement you can that includes keeping your health insurance! Take care and let us know how you are doing please.
Well I went for the
Well I went for the scope...the tumor is actually a cyst deep in my kidneys that have a stone in it. It is not something that will pass on it's own. My doctor has opted to watch it, and if it gets bigger, he will remove it. Sort of a relief, but still no idea for the pain I am still having. My mother took me for the scope...and my DH was there too. it was akward. My mother is so mad at him that she can't see straight. After the scope...I agreed to let him take me to my house. I have not been eating since all of this came about and I have lost 15 lbs in the past 3 weeks. Everytime I eat, I get sick. My DH knows this, and went to get soemthing for dinner so that both of us could eat (he has lost almost the same amount as me). Afterwards, I hurt so bad all I wanted to do was sleep. He told me that since he was not there for me in the beginning, he insists on being there for me now. And he was. And he has continued to be there for me. Before everything happened with the SD14, we had a great relationship...I called him my best friend. He has never laid a finger on me, never cheated on me, and he is always where he tells me that he is going to be. I just don't know how it ever got to this. As for us right now, we have decided to remain separated and we are back in counseling. The kids do not know...i just cannot yo-yo them, besides, we have to fix US before we can even begin to adress what is going on with the kids...especially SD14. I don't know what the future holds for us. I just know that I will NEVER go back to his house again. Even if it doesn't work, at least I can say that I gave it my all. I believe everyone deserves a second chance. I will keep you posted....
I believe that everyone
I believe that everyone deserves a second chance...I am giving my DH his right now.
But PLEASE think HARD about this. Try to detach from the emotion of it all. What would you tell your BFF that came to you with a story like this? How about a loved aunt or your mother? What would you advise THEM to do? How about a daughter or niece?
I don't think a person should give up on a marriage unless you have done everything you can...but...I can't help but feel if it doesn't end now, it will end eventually. And you will just have lost more time and maybe yourself, as well.
Glad to hear that it isn't cancer.