DH and the EX
This morning my Dh and his Ex went together to register their daugther for grade one. That doesn't bother me. It just got me thinking...how awful divorce is. Here is a milestone in your childs life and you are doing it with an ex. Someone you don't really like any longer. There's no excitement for the child together. Yes, you are happy for your child but you are spending that moment with someone you don't care about.
Does anyone ever feel bad when things like this come up? I feel bad for both of them (and I don't even like her) but I am sure there was a happy time and they probably thought about moments like this together. I know my husband and I talk about the future of us and our children.
Sad.
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Tyra..
My ex and I can sit at school functions with our families all in a line and we laugh and the kids see this.. So its not very sad for me. I personally used to feel sad for my kids about our divorce but I don't anymore. We are all better off.. And we can still find excitement for our kids. I can see what you are saying but in the end if you look at the whole picture the kids are happiest when they see there parents the happiest.. And I think in this case as your SD grows she will find this out..
I can understand what you are getting at though. I am from a broken home and I can honestly say I am so glad my mom got away from my bio dad.. or sperm donor you might say..
I do think it's sad..
and I do feel for my ss coming from a broken home. His bm got pg looking for a meal ticket, so he never had a home with both parents (they lived together, while she was at the bars).
Anyhow, I think it is important to really invest in your marriage everyday. This is WHY your marriage is #1, and children are #2. Happy parents make happy babies. I know shit happens, and kids are really resilient, but for me...I wake up every morning and thank my lucky stars I have my dh and my son, and I will always do my best to nurture my marriage first.
I would be so hurt for my son if he had to go back and forth between two homes. I just never want that...divorce can happen to everyone, so for me, I make sure my dh knows I love him, and appreciate him, and I also support him every where I can.
I don't always agree with Dr. Laura, but, I have to say her thoughts on how to feed and nurture your dh are really good points, and I try to follow those ideas.
Jmho,
Candice
Candice, I feel the same. I
Candice, I feel the same. I am fortunate to have a wonderful husband who I know loves me and supports me. I, too, am doing everything I can to have a wonderful marriage because I want more for my son and new baby coming and for my SD. For her to have to go through two divorces I can't imagine. I love my family and would do whatever it takes to hang on to it. I know you just never know but if something happens I want to say I give it my all. To look my kids in the eyes and know I failed them would break my heart. We have no control over others but I will do my best.
I am just reminded at times like this how sad I would be not to have my husband to share in those special moments.
I invite my childrens father
I invite my childrens father to every event in their lives. Because my children are first. My husband understands that I am just trying to be the best parent I can. My ex is a jerk with a bad temper to say the least. (his temper is toward women not the kids or they would not go--also he keeps himself under wraps around them or I would move to the farthest point to keep them away) Anyways..I can sit at any school event or baptism with him there. It is his wife that I have more problems with. How do you deal with someone that posts your child in a magazine (that had only been around your kid maybe 10 days) and lists herself as their mother...step mother or just list his name would be one thing but she put HERSELF as my daughters mother! I would never have done that to my ex and my husband would not be so disrespectful either....oh the joy of ex's!
That seems so disrespectful
That seems so disrespectful to me. I would never even think to do such a thing. She obviously doens't know her role. I know that I am the step mom and would never cross that boundary.